Mayo's Law

something old, something blue....

2011-08-10T21:48:00.001-04:00

It was one strange day
when the two old men met;
(but now the story is moot)
Alowiscious said to Clyde "if the flaming
lizard were dancing in your garlic suit,"
he paused for a breath,
"Who would fill his shoes?"
Now Clyde, being the more aged of the pair,
began his wisical response;
"Naturally, the wet giraffe,
for she can reach the farthest branch
without a single muted laugh."
Then he mounted his talking goose.

John Saul

2011-02-13T20:54:00.000-05:00

"Sara stopped dead in her tracks."

Really?!

In the middle of a top-selling thriller by one of today's most popular authors?

REVIEW: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1

2010-11-20T09:36:00.005-05:00

I sat, rapt, for nearly two and a half hours, despite the lack of sleep and the late hour. There was certainly no Episode 1 Effect here! There were no ‘groan’ moments, and only a handful of ‘mistakes’ that stood out to me.

One of the things that bugs me the most is the fact that the Burrow is intact, after it was so pointedly destroyed in the sixth movie. Why make that (at least somewhat) controversial decision to change that movie significantly, only to have it ignored, visually and as a plot point, in the next? Furthermore, Scrimgour calls the Weasley home ‘the BurrowS’. That’s a glaring error!

There’s no handshake between Dudley and Harry, but their relationship was far less developed in the movies than it was in the books.

Emma Watson is great! She is acting with more than her eyebrows. Her opening scene was perhaps a little too subtle, as was Snape’s eye-to-eye with the Muggle Studies teacher at Malfoy Manor. Perhaps that will change after a second viewing, but my initial reaction was a little disappointment.

Rupert Grint is a revelation! He had not acted too much in the previous films, but you can see here that he actually CAN! The complaint I’ve had before about his role was the speedy delivery of lines, which, when blurred by the accent, would border on gobbledygook. (The real world reference, not the goblin language!) In this one, there are a couple deliveries that are hasty, but for the most part his lines are clear and heartfelt.

The special effects are wondrous! The animation of the tale of the Three Brothers would make the suits at Pixar jealous, it is so uniquely rendered! The THING that comes out of the locket is grotesque and beautiful at the same time. Dobby interacts with Harry seamlessly, especially in his final scene!

This movie is as close to the book as any of the movies, and that is clearly due to the decision to split it into two movies. It allows for character development, added humor, and extended views of set pieces and landscapes that make the tone of this movie very different from the more recent movies in the series. The Goblet of Fire was terribly cramped, and my least favorite of all the movies. The story structure of The Order of the Phoenix was a positive change from the book; the end battle was perhaps the best framed sequence of the entire series. The Half-Blood Prince was rushed and incongruously dark. I don’t know if splitting these movies would have made them any better, but it certainly works for the finale, which has so much significant material for so many characters. Scenes are allowed to linger, giving them weight and depth. There is a bit more focus on the characters, allowing the viewer to see more of the growth and change that is so well developed by Rowling over the seven books.

This was an event movie, and it was an exciting event that our children will remember through the years. There were laughs and tears, anticipation and expectations. This movie was everything I wanted it to be.

REVIEW: the Crystal City. The Tales of Alvin Maker, Book 6

2010-11-12T09:34:00.002-05:00

The Crystal City
Book 6 of the Tales of Alvin Maker
By Orson Scott Card
Book on CD Read by Card, Stefan Rudnick and Gabrielle Decuir, among others.

I found this book to be a little more engaging that the last one, which I wanted to be over long before it was. The narrative was new and different, while still meandering somewhat, which is part of the charm of this series. The action was fairly constant, with a lot less exposition (in the form of court trials) and constant, if slow, change in the characters and the plot. With the location of the Crystal City finally established, the slaves (almost) free, and Alvin’s son born (and saved), it seems like they accomplished something in this volume.

Up to this point in this world’s history, it has very much resembled the expansion of America in the 1800s. With the events in these stories, however, the reader begins to see something very different taking shape. The power of knacks and Makers has begun to shape the new world into something very different from what we know in our reality. The establishment of Furrow Spring County, the future location of the Crystal City, promises major differences in a reality where magic is real. Alvin’s acknowledgment of the different but equally important Song of machines (the sound and feel of something’s magic) portends a more holistic Industrial Revolution, which will allow mankind to live in peace with nature AND technology. The potential for stories in that future reality is awesome, which makes it all the more disappointing that Card has not yet finished this series.

Again, I say, isn’t the Ender series all played out?!

REVIEW: Stephen King’s the Dark Tower Book 5, Battle of Jericho Hill

2010-11-02T13:09:00.001-04:00

I’ve been looking forward to reading this for quite some time, as noted in my review of book 4, the Long Road home. We would finally learn the truth about the infamous battle where Roland lost all of his cribmates – his first ka-tet – and how he was the only one to survive the slaughter.

Like everything so eagerly anticipated, though, it was over far too quickly and failed, ultimately, as the climax to this stage of the quest for the Tower. The taking of Sheemie felt a little perfunctory, and the death of Aileen (granted, not an original King character anyway) felt glossed over. The death of Alain was also disappointing. ANOTHER friend shot by Roland? Come on…

I still love the art - it’s grandiose and striking, despite the lack of detail. The broad strokes work in this format, but the marvelous detail is what makes King such an amazing story teller.

The depiction of the battle itself was disappointing; very little detail, graphically or literally. Many of the frames depicted one side shooting, and the next showed the enemy shooting, which created a staccato pacing that didn’t sit well with me. I love the depiction of Farson, the Good Man – glowing eyes and all – and Marten is suitably oily.

Ultimately, it was a rather readable comic, with beautiful images and less-than-stellar words.

Some really old stuff, discovered in the move.

2010-08-28T17:01:00.000-04:00

"Alas, alas! 'Tis true, my friends!"

Ogruff weeped and wailed aloud,

"My goodly father's met his end!"

Crying rain, his face a cloud,

the cleric sat down next to us.

Trying, then, to comfort him,

we gathered close to listen up

as he told his story grim.

"I'd come back to the plantation,

just to visit dad again;

I found him near the serf station,

moaning deep, in grievous pain."

"He had just one word left to say;

I could barely make it out.

As he began to fade away,

'Olek,' then his life went out."

Our friend stopped there, to catch his breath;

E'vay and Verkat wept too;

The rest of us just thought of death.

Ogruff tried to continue.

He had to dry his eyes and cheeks,

yet he did, and though it hurt,

he spoke. "My friends, it could take weeks,

but I'll find the killer's shirt."

"Now, if you don't decide to aid,

you must know I'll understand.

So let me know now, please," he said.

All of us did raise our hands.

His pride and grief were mixed as one,

with deep anger boiled in.

He thanked us all, and had begun

planning to revenge this sin.

The only clue, his dad's last word,

led us to the Smuggler's Port.

A haven for both crime and curd,

Olek was their judge and court.

We had to get there right away;

With the next day's morning sun

our party set out on its way;

The adventure had begun.

Our horses, eight, were young and strong,

good to ride both fast and hard.

To Krelton's edge did not take long.

Domeresti border guards

gave Ogruff problems as we left.

Serfs were not transportable,

and though he was a slave bereft,

his tattoo was visible.

Quick thinking by our ranger friends,

Nosferatu and Verkat,

allowed us passage in the end;

Krelton towards us tipped its hat.

We crossed into the Neutral State,

riding hard the plains of Rahn;

The sun was setting, falling late,

Olek on the horizon.

We soon could see the Town of Sins,

would be there near mid of night.

"We want the second best of inns!"

Verkat yelled out towards the light.

REVIEW: Prentice Alvin

2010-06-24T23:58:00.002-04:00

Prentice Alvin
By Orson Scott Card
Book on Tape Read by Card, Stefan Rudnick and Gabrielle Decuir

The reading here is an interesting departure from my usual King stuff, read by the gruff, sandy Frank Muller . This is read by Card himself and two others, representing the two main points of view in the book – Alvin’s and Peggy’s. Neither is a spectacular reader, though both are capable. Card’s performance is utilitarian though apposite, with a curious not-quite-southern drawl that grew to represent the Mormon tradition echoed in Alvin’s tale.
The narrative is an entertaining mix of macro- and micro-story. It spans some 8 years of Alvin’s apprenticeship, yet the details of intervening years are few and far between. On one hand, it feels rushed, but at the same time it feels appropriately paced. This is obviously a setup story; much like the time spans in the story itself, it designed as the in between years of a much larger story, which I am eager to get to.
The previous book is all but ignored in this story. Alvin mentions his time with the Prophet only once or twice, and the events of Red Prophet seem to have little effect on Alvin’s apprenticeship.
I really enjoy Card’s voice – I mean to say his narrative voice! He handles the raw speech of the unrefined folk of the frontier with consistency and aplomb. It feels and sounds natural.
I sure hope he gets around to book 7 in this series. Isn’t the Ender stuff all played out already!?

REVIEW: Red Prophet

2010-06-24T22:33:00.002-04:00

Red Prophet
By Orson Scott Card
Graphic novel by Brown, Buchemi, and Montenegro

The art here is serviceable, but nothing spectacular. At times it is difficult to tell characters apart, especially Alvin and his brother Measure, when they were captured by the reds.
With the active hand of Card, the narrative is a successful adaptation. It is somewhat wordy, something less than desirable in a graphic novel I think, but necessarily so to capture the spirit of the story.
Overall, it is an enjoyable adaptation, and a quick way to re-experience the story in order to get to the books in the series that I haven’t read yet.
I wish I had more to say, but life is creeping in. I’ve already finished the next book (on tape) before finishing this review!

UPDATE

2010-05-27T11:05:00.003-04:00

Since I have been working for the Census, it has been difficult to keep a schedule, and thus difficult to remain clear-headed enough to put anything down. I am keeping track of the time I owe, and I have all intentions of getting back to it. The Census work should be done in around 2 weeks, so expect something then.

Thanks.

REVIEW: Cell

2010-05-19T09:50:00.002-04:00

Cell
by Stephen King
Read by Campbell Scott

At first I thought that a strong reader might not be needed for this book, but as it dragged on, and he droned on, it was apparent that the reader affected my experience on the whole. He droned, as I said, with a nasally flat intonation, which was infrequently interrupted by overdubs that sounded like someone else. There is little differentiation between characters, and the enunciation leaves a lot to be desired. Although an accomplished actor, seen recently on TV in Damages, Mr. Scott is not a real strong voice in this work.
Though King never uses the word zombie, this story would probably make a good zombie movie. The ending would have to be changed for the movie masses, but the cell-phone-as-WMD idea is certainly timely. Endings are an apparent weakness of King’s. He often claims that the story tells itself, that he is just the scribe, but it seems to me that NOT using the pop culture word of the day is a distinct choice.
The characters are authentic; certainly a strength of King’s, but something is still missing. The narrative always seems to be on the verge of exploding into either action or social commentary, but never quite succeeds at either. The end result is an uncertain series of scenes with very little resolution. Perhaps that was King’s intent, but it is ultimately unsatisfying.

'Tween the past and the future

2010-05-18T11:48:00.002-04:00

My wife and I went to high school together, one final time. We attended the Woodward High School Sock Hop, AKA checkouttheoldbuildingonelasttime, back on April 16.

It was great to see so many people there, from so many years. The history of that school is so much more than just the four years WE went there, or even the six combined years. It’s mind-boggling to think about how many students have been through those halls. It makes one feel small and yet infinitely important. It will be sad to see the building fall.

We arrived early, for the least of considerations – parking. The Streicher entrance near the office was unfamiliar to me 22 years ago, but Jen knew it well. After getting name tags and signing a registry, we wandered toward the trophy cases in the main hallway. Of course I found the chess trophies right away. The label on one had fallen off and lay face down, but I knew it was the 2^nd city championship trophy. We were the only championship team that Woodward had in my 4 years, I believe. There was also a single chess trophy from 1975, labeled “Runner up - Voreshevsky division”!

We then made our way up to the 2^nd floor, where we walked through the boy’s gymnasium. Fits of memory recalled the games in which a waffle ball hit into the balcony stands was a home run, and sitting in lines on the gym floor at the start of freshman year, paralyzingly self-conscious. From there we sidled into the girl’s gym, where, in search of myself, I had played a lot of basketball with two friends (you know who you are), one of whom would often beat us 2 on 1!

From there we went on to the cafeteria. While the halls and the school itself seemed pretty much the same size as I remembered (if not a little larger), the lunch room seemed smaller. Perhaps it was the arrangement of tables or the added vending machines near the kitchen. I have few specific memories of the lunch room, most likely because I sat at the same table all four years, trying to avoid the trouble that often sprouted in the densely populated centers of the room. Jen and I had a good laugh at the shared memory, from different perspectives, of a certain friend’s ceaseless, asthmatic laugh.

We went on to the library, adjacent to the cafeteria. As an atypical student, I had spent a fair number of lunch periods in the library, often just reading a book. Now, my present career path had brought me back. We chatted with the librarian, with whom Jennifer worked in her stint as a substitute teacher. The librarian has done a lot of work to maintain the archival collection of yearbooks and student newspapers. Among the yearbooks on display, I saw the cover of one that looked vaguely familiar, but I knew that it was way before my time. It took a moment, but I soon recalled perusing my aunt and uncle’s Sagas when I was a kid, and a thumb-through quickly confirmed 1981 as my aunt’s senior year!

We eventually found the 3^rd floor corner where I would often hang out with my girlfriend at the time, who would soon enough become my ex-wife. Although I spent most of my time at Woodward with her, memories of high school do not exactly revolve around you-know-who, save for the punching of a locker outside Mr. Taylor’s on the first floor after a breakup.

Ah, the fickle nature of recall! Whether capricious or merely careless, our memories are peculiar entities, sometimes certain, on occasion nebulous, always altered by the now. Earlier, we couldn’t seem to remember where our lockers had been, which was a comment we had heard from a few people that night. That took us to recalling our home rooms, which led to trying to remember where certain classrooms were. Herr Hanna’s was the easiest to find, and I think we found Gantzos’ room, my very first class freshman year. I remember certain fun-lovers setting pennies at the top of her door, and the helpless contempt on her face when they rained down on her as she rattled the door with her key. I also found Mrs. Amberg’s room, my final and most influential English teacher. That door is still labeled “language arts” in the tiny metal art deco sign at the top of the jamb.

Jen and I wandered around the 3^rd floor then, but the memories there were more muddled. I had wanted to find Mr. McMurray’s room, but it was impossible to differentiate, despite significant quiz bowl time there! We easily found the science triad – Attie, Duvendack and Baldwin - and around the corner Mr. C’s math classroom.

Soon after we had first arrived, I had seen Mr. Cieslewski, though I would not have recognized him if someone else hadn’t been greeting him. He was, of course, much older, yet far thinner, than in junior year geometry. Later, we greeted Mr. Duvendack in his great, old sweater. He hasn’t changed much, except for his speed perhaps. Mr. Wilusz, on the other hand, looks EXACTLY the same as he did more than 20 years ago, right down to the same black and white saddle shoes! Even my uncle (class of ‘75) remembers him looking pretty much the same. Uncanny!

The building itself has not changed a whole lot either. There is some deterioration, and the concavity of the worn steps deepens every year, but the halls have the same paint, the same maroon tile floors. The interior paint is still the same in many of the classrooms, and they still have the same old wooden cupboards. One of the oddest things that stood out was the trash cans – the large square bins with flat blue tops like a steel umbrella. Not something one thinks about when one recalls high school years, but mercurial memory made me notice the same trash cans that have been there for at least 25 years!

Later in the evening, we met up with my uncle (‘75) and aunt (‘81) and then my brother (‘86) and his family. My uncle pointed out the new plastic seats in the auditorium – which had been there since at least ‘79! The passing of ten years seemed to be more significant back then. My brother, though, was kind of connected to the last vestiges of that dissimilar decade. When he was a freshman in ‘82, there were seniors who had attended in the 70s! I asked him about the donkey basketball game; though ultimately sad, the story feels legendary, like the passing of an era. In ’83 or ’82, one of the teachers died of a heart attack during what would ultimately be the final donkey basketball game ever held at the school. That game was, in retrospect, the delineator between the troubling 1980s and the far less worrisome 1970s.

My brother then told me another legendary tale. He pointed out a small speaker hanging from the approximately 12’ ceiling. He said that after a basketball victory over rival Central Catholic, he and some buddies were whooping it up in the halls. He was so pumped with adrenaline that he jumped and touched that speaker! I do remember him dunking a tennis ball back in the day, so the tale is believable, but as we stood under the speaker that night, gazing up and up, it may as well have been a low hanging cloud, or a mile-high jet!

I took some photos that night, and some short videos, but not a lot - I‘m not really sure why, other than not wanting to look foolish. I guess I was taking it all in. I was absorbed by the moment – and by the moments that seem so disparate now, so connect-the-dots. I used to be the kind of person that looked at my yearbooks all the time. When I had kids (sometime between their ages of 3 and 10), I seemed to forego all that stuff, without intention or awareness. A lot of memories just went away. Returning to the school when Jen taught there brought a flood of it back, but it was always a shock to recall something I hadn’t thought about in nearly 20 years! I’m often surprised at how little I see people from back then. I’m all around Toledo and Bedford, but I rarely see anyone I knew back then. Then I wonder - would I even recognize them? There are people friending me on Facebook that I don’t even remember! And THEN I wonder, have I changed that much!?

My own social clumsiness often interferes with reconnection. I find myself wanting to know what happened to some people, but not quite willing to strike up a conversation. I’ve seen one classmate at local pharmacies, but can’t bring myself to say hello - and we ran in the same academic circles. That’s why Facebook is so easy. I can say hello and not have to worry about tripping over my faux pas! I’m still friends with a handful of people from back then, and I guess that’s all that I really want. The rest is just a strange benign voyeurism.

So far, so good.

2010-05-17T12:02:00.002-04:00

I have just finished 2 hours of writing, which included some catch up from the weekend. Another 2 hours tomorrow and I will be back on schedule. One item posted today and a memoir due tomorrow.

I'm satisfied, thus far.

REJUSTIFY

2010-05-17T10:08:00.002-04:00

I stray outside, the moonlit

breeze

Flutters across

my pain

The stars,

so many stars

grab my heart

and pull but I am

Too anchored

Too leery with bitter (tones) that slip

unwillingly

The respite is brief

I know

I want to run, fly

leave

but I just retrieve the dog

and return

The bar is gone –

Unneeded

The air is recycled

Every day the same

submission

Every night’s quiet admission

I hate it.

Writing Career ?

2010-05-13T12:38:00.002-04:00

I don’t know if I can be a writer. I just turned 40 and I feel like I’m running out of time. More truthfully, I don’t know if I want to be a writer, if I want to make the necessary sacrifices. I’ve always thought that great creative minds had to suffer for their art. I’ve had relatively little suffering in my relatively blessed life, so perhaps I lack that beam of inspiration. Nevertheless, I think I have some valuable insight into the lives of common (read: average) men, and some things that I have written glimmer with potential.

I will give it one more try. One more SERIOUS try.

I can’t let this float forever, though. Therefore, I am going to give myself a deadline. After one full year of seriously attempting to attempt to right, if I am unable to maintain the production schedule or unable to complete anything worthwhile, I will be done.

One hour each day. At least. If I miss a day, I have to make it up in that week.
If this upcoming year feels successful, and I have something solid, I will use the following year to make money with my writing. If I have nothing that can be sold, I will be done with the pursuit of writing as a career.

I have a number of kernels to develop – essay ideas that would be perfect as blog posts. There are some short fiction ideas floating around in my notes, and, as always, the long standing long fiction – both genre and ‘regular.’ Poems may also pop up now and again. D&D writing is also part of it, with the idea of developing characters (and worlds) that stand independent of their gaming origins.

If I can’t do it, I will focus my encouragement on my daughter. An avid reader, her interest in horses has led her to RPG web sites, where she tells interactive stories from horses’ points of view. She has already been more productive than I have in the last year or so. She has potential! Hopefully my own production over the next year can serve as encouragement. I think that what she’s writing now may fit into popular pre-adolescent horse-loving-girls magazines.

My wife is behind me, of course. She has always encouraged and appreciated my creativity. I find that I love her more every day. Seriously.

You, dear Reader, will be my gauge. Your feedback will be as vital as ever in this upcoming evaluation. Thank you. All five of you.

PS: I’m starting today, and this post counts as today’s hour!

*ATTENTION

2010-05-10T12:15:00.001-04:00

Look to this spot for a major announcement coming very soon.

Thank you.

Carrie

2010-03-15T10:22:00.000-04:00

Carrie
Stephen King
Book on Tape, read by Sissy Spacek.

Being King’s first published novel, I was surprised at how familiar the narrative style is. His basic forms and habits have not change, I think, as they continue to be filled with seemingly superfluous details that somehow make each word vitally important to the story.

The conceit of parts of the story being from a book written by a survivor, from the report of the White Commission, investigating the TK phenomenon, and from AP and local news outlets is an interesting way to present the information. I think it would be more effective in the written format, rather than being read aloud, because the reader can SEE the difference in the text and differentiate the source easier. I did not have a copy of the novel while listening, so that is an educated guess.
The graphic imagery –not just the horror bits, but the sex and the thoughts of teenagers – is both distracting and appealing. I continue to wonder if teens, then or now, really thought like that – with the smoking and the sex, and the mean thoughts. This concern is, of course, merely a reflection of my own unusual adolescence and my own children’s current pre-teen status.

Sissy Spacek’s reading is uneven, though she captures Carrie’s voice quite naturally, the slight southern drawl giving the sense of perpetual innocence. When she attempts to make her voice big, it only comes across as loud. Still, the continuity with the movie helps the mind’s eye see the blood-soaked white dress form-fitting over the thin, shuddering body.

I’m about to watch the movie now.

"LOOK SIR! NINJAS!"

2010-03-08T15:18:00.000-05:00

Gran Torino

2010-03-08T12:51:00.001-05:00

This movie was a bit of a disappointment. I was expecting violence. Instead it was slow paced and poorly acted, with questionable characterization.

The opening funeral scene seems to drag, but it is necessary to setup the absence of the sons in the life of the protagonist. Initially the death of his wife seems to be the cause of his perpetual grumpiness. His grim demeanor runs deeper than that, but this is revealed slowly over the first half of the film. For my taste, there are way too many scenes where the camera is still.

Eastwood chews up the scenery, of course, for good or ill. His mumble-growl is befitting, if at first annoying. Unfortunately, he never shoots anyone! The Asian leads are first-timers. They do admirably, but the fumbles are noticeable, especially in the delivery of angry dialog.

The ‘gooks’ are overly tolerant, even reverent toward the undeserved protagonist. The protagonist is a lifelong grump and racist, and we’re expected to believe that he would sacrifice himself for this Asian family? Even the educated one (cliché?) is unbelievably patient and tolerant of the old bigot. Could he really change the core of his character over the course of one summer? Disingenuous.

The DVD has two special features, which speak on the bond between man and car. This relationship was a minor theme of the movie. Like the movie itself, the DVD feels vaguely disjointed and somehow deficient.

REVIEW: Star Wars: Death Troopers

2010-03-01T08:28:00.000-05:00

Star Wars: Death Troopers
By Joe Schreiber

We bought this for Nick for Christmas, because he’s been into zombie movies lately, and has Star Wars in his blood, so to speak. After I promised him I would read it when he was done, he finished it in about a week!

This book is a fun mix of Zombie horror and Star Wars. It is fairly well written, though the ending leaves a lot to be desired. The horror scenes are done well, and there’s decent characterization. There isn’t a lot of detail, though. Nothing about why a handful of people are immune to the virus, very little about how the virus causes the dead to rise, and no mention of the reason for Han and Chewie being on this Imperial prison barge, with the Falcon impounded, merely months before the events in episode IV - and no, they do not escape on the Falcon. This book is more about the zombies, their victims, and their potential victims, to be sure. I enjoyed it for just that – a zombie romp with the crimson tinge of Star Wars.

REVIEW: Insomnia

2010-02-25T11:50:00.000-05:00

Insomnia
Stephen King
January-February 2010

I picked this one up because of the connections to the Dark Tower books, of course. According to Book VII, this King novel is the key to understanding the multiverse. I was a little disappointed because the connections were few and far between. The Wiki entries pretty much cover the mentions in entirety! Book VII even changes a couple things mentioned in this novel. According to Insomnia, Patrick Danville was destined to die while saving two men, including Roland. It didn’t happen like that in Book VII.

This was a long book, nearly 800 pages. The first 200 were pure exposition, setting up Ralph and his life in Derry. There was not even a hint of supernaturalism until nearly 1/3 into the book. There are many connections to his other books that take place in and around Derry, especially IT. Still, I like my King books with a little more paranormal, if you please.

That being said, one gets attached to these characters, of course. Ralph Roberts is a likable elderly man, but surprisingly unflawed, or at least not very introspective.

The narrator captures the voice of Ralph very well, without being overpoweringly New England. Eli Wallach is an older actor who appeared in The Good, the Bad and the Ugly, among a number of minor film roles. His other characterizations here are passable, but nothing spectacular. I question the choice of the production to not speak aloud the chapters and subchapters, a King staple. It results in book on tape that is not delineated, making it hard in some way to follow along. The weird music and sound effects that are used as transitions between unnamed chapters is stark and sometimes drowns out the narration.

Overall, it was a King experience, so characterization rules the day. I can’t imagine investing the time it would take to actually read this, however. But as I get older, it’s harder to justify investing that kind of time into ANY novel, which is a scary, sad statement.

RSWR (?!) # 15

2010-02-22T11:52:00.000-05:00

Japanese tuna ad!

another poem from last fall

2010-01-22T15:07:00.000-05:00

Nothing important to say.

Nothing to say, it seems, whenever I set pen to paper.
The words waver on the ledge, teasing
their rescuer.
"Don't get close - I'll jump (off the edge)"
irretrievable forevermore.
Forever, or until the next time
I set the pen.

the blank white jeers - a mean paper mien.

Then something drags me away
progress is glimpsed on the horizon, a shade
but life

over hear

calls out,
a crowd
"help me"
"fix me"
"learn me"
"clean me"
"play me"
"watch me"
"surf me"
"read me"

a new (to you!) poem...

2010-01-22T14:53:00.001-05:00

in the depths of Hawkin's mind

the door that's never worked right
slides, sticks, slams.

Separates.

A sad exhiliration
overtakes.
the air is clear
the moon bright
the wind, softly
*Run away,
far away*

One heart pounds
the other weeps
gently, briefly
but the Yard holds tight
- no egress, no mercy
So Toughness comes
dominates Dream,
drags, drops; delineates
the in(t/f)ernal glow.

Go back,
Grab the bar.

It's what you do.

a new poem!

2010-01-20T14:00:00.000-05:00

Paper Cuts

eye see a rainbow of construction paper

it can’t cause a poem

the subtlety is too subtle
the importance too small.
eye breathe a little slower
live a little shorter
die a little more

fleeting, fleeing ever faster
adult years outpace childhood
farther from it every
year, every
day, every
heartache

Wonder
is fading, escaping
fleas from a drowning pet

You are mourned
by just one, Truest Friend of mine.

01202010

We Three Girls

2009-12-26T00:13:00.002-05:00

My kids were watching the Christmas episode of The Powerpuff Girls.
At one point, the villain gets put onto Santa's Permanent Naugty List.
When the camera pans to the list, the following four names are there...

bill mccracken
ryan faust
adolph schickelgruber
stephen fonti

Ryan Faust is my cousin! Dang...what did HE do?!

The Dark Tower

2009-12-07T12:34:00.000-05:00

I just finished listening to the Dark Tower series. Again. After having it on in my car for so long, it seems like my own Tower – it’s always there, I’m always pursuing it, even sorta sacrificing friends along the way (by not making calls when I can). “The story fled across the tape head, and the listener followed.” There were so many other things going on at the end, though, I felt distracted. This happened the first time around, too – I remember book 7 both dragging and sustaining itself for the sake of itself.

Like Roland, I am destined to repeat this story ad infinitum, with tiny changes on each iteration. This time, for example, I skipped over the entire middle of Wizards and Glass, the tale of Mejis, to better grok the over arcing journey of the ka-tet. Next time, I will physically read them all, which I’m certain will be a very different experience. By then, the entire comic book series will be complete, again changing the experience.

I would so love to see a movie made of this. My own vision of the tale of Mejis could work, I’m certain. Unfortunately, it seems unlikely that JJ Abrams will ever get to it.

2009-11-05T16:07:00.001-05:00

I was at the university again today (I do that when I have classes there). I was taking a makeup test at the remodeled Field House. That place is amazing on the inside! Tons of offices and classrooms and common spaces. The English dept. is there now, as is the foreign language department. Back in the mid 90s, we played some roller hockey on the old basketball floor. Back then, it was just bleachers and old iron-wrought windows, leering high above the potential.
The changes on this campus are stunning.
From there I headed toward University Hall. As I was phoning my chilluns, I saw a stately black man approach the building. I recognized him almost instantly as a writing professor who was very influential to me back in the early 90s, when I first returned to campus after my divorce. He was considerably older, of course, and had neat little white facial hair that looked like painted arrows on his wizened face. I would have liked to have talked to him, but of course the kids picked up the line just then! I followed into U Hall as soon as I could, but didn’t see him again. THEN I finally remembered his name – Jim Cunningham.
I wandered the halls here, letting the smell and memories wash over me. The stairwells that echoed incessantly, step edges worn into concavity. The ancient tang of academia that permeated the marble floors. The screwy office spaces on the 5th floor, with the Daliesque stairwells and bits of modern construction that never quite blended.
My time here has been all too brief, certainly in relation to the span of these hallways. Although I have internalized the aggrandizement of working/teaching here, it seems unlikely at this late stage.
Nevertheless, I have those memories.

To sleep, perchance....

2009-11-04T14:20:00.003-05:00

I had an odd dream last night. I was back at high school, just kinda wandering the halls. It was a strangely lit Hollywood-ized version of Woodward. I ended up in Mr. Cieslewski’s class, sitting behind Dave V. I whispered “What class (period) is this?” He said 6th, I think. Or last. I left, because I thought I was supposed to be in Art. The halls were empty, though.

That was it.

Soon the halls will be more than empty - they will be gone!
All those memories will be practically irretrievable.

I wonder if anyone has any VIDEO of our high school days, in those venerated halls...

Soon, real soon.

2009-10-29T09:40:00.003-04:00

I fully intend to get back to this - to writing in general - sometime in the near future.

It's been a steerange year, 2009. Presently, I'm deep into 4 classes at 2 schools. My employment situation should change in the new year, thanks to 2 of those classes. Our living situation will then change, and everything will be fresh and wondrous!

I will make it happen.

From the "Not really surprising." Department...

2009-10-16T17:04:00.001-04:00

I really want to play some D&D again!

First poem I've written in years...

2009-07-02T21:43:00.002-04:00

Mossberg and the mole

It occurred to me
Recently
How incongruous and silly, really, it would be
To see
A mole in the same picture with a gun

No sun
White sheet
A single slip of dried wheat
grass lying diagonally
Knowing the photographer
doesn’t seem to mitigate the peculiarity

Just seize SOMEthing!

2009-06-08T22:42:00.002-04:00

We watched "Stand By Me" on Sunday, Rob Reiner's fantastic 1986 adaptation of Stephen King's short story "The Body". This story, and to only a slighter lesser extent the movie, exemplify King's literary and pop culture importance. He captures what it was like to be a 12 year old boy in the late 50s and early 60s. His work often delineates that period from the post-1963 America that crushed so many spirits after the fall of Camelot.

More importantly, seeing the young Gordie Lachance make up the story about Lard-Ass and the Vomit-Revenge serves, once again, to reiterate the as-yet unacted upon dream I have of being a writer.

Once again, however, it also serves to remind me that I have to actually DO some writing to be a writer.

And so, once AGAIN, I hereby rededicate myself to 1 hour of writing a day, be it the blog, something witty on Facebook, or, ideally, an actual story.

I find it apropos to start with the proposed expansion of my dream "I had dinner with Stephen King."

Carpe Noctem

2009-06-08T22:26:00.003-04:00

While enjoying what may very well have been the last bit of peace and quiet, well, EVER, I caught the end of another episode of Angel. It was the conclusion of Fred's acclamation to the strange freedom of Earth, and of the fleeting infatuation she had for her rescuer, Angel. Just as she is about to tell Angel about her feelings, Cordelia storms in and shouts "They found her. She's alive!"

And the ultimate, tragicest love story continues...

Not Fade Away

2009-06-03T08:33:00.002-04:00

While enjoying a ham and turkey lettuce wrap this morning, I was watching the end of an episode of Angel. It was the conclusion of the story arc in which they travel to Lorne’s homeworld, Pylea. Cordy becomes queen nee’ cow, Angel fight’s his demon, and Angel fights HER Grusalaag. Everyone wins, and they come home in Angel’s car with the help of Fred, who becomes a regular on the show. They’re all happy, and Cordy is STILL in the queen’s gold-bangled bikini top. I’m thinking to myself, what a wonderful show/universe – action, comedy, bikini-Cordy, character growth, the mainstreaming of so many of Joss Whedon’s stars (David Boreanez, Alyson Hannigan, SMG, Seth Green, etc.).
So, they come to the door of the hotel where they live, and Angel insists on saying “There’s no place…” and there sits Willow, silent, pregnant anguish announcing the death of Buffy Summers.

I burst into tears.

RSWR #14

2009-06-02T09:28:00.003-04:00

Check out this Polish site with multiple versions of the Imperial March.

By "Polish" I mean 'originating in Poland', not 'amusingly absentminded'.

Week 12. Or Week 1, depending on which calendar...

2009-05-18T09:14:00.001-04:00

This is the first official week of being without a job, though I do get one more paycheck yet.

Just thought I'd let you know.

RSWR #13

2009-05-18T09:11:00.001-04:00

On the latest episode of The Soup, one of my favorite shows (and the only bit of reality TV that I require), intrepid host Joel McHale talked about the Octomom. Monica Suleiman said she was mistaken about the procedure that would keep her from having more children. This was her ‘comment’ about the pending surgery that would, as it turns out, improve fertility.

“Now witness the firepower of this fully armed and operational battle station!”

A Blancing Glow

2009-05-02T09:23:00.004-04:00

Mind Over Ship
David Marusek

I glimpsed this book at the library recently, grabbed it up, and skimmed the flap-matter. It looks interesting.

Here is a review of the first novel, Counting Heads.

That was how I discovered Feist's Magician - the art on the spine of the original trade paperback just caught my eye.

btw...I have no idea what the above title means.

REVIEW: Stephen King's the Dark Tower: Treachery

2009-05-01T08:19:00.001-04:00

This is the third volume in the graphic novel series produced by Marvel. It takes place after and during the events in Roland’s tale of Mejis, from the 4th novel, Wizard and Glass.

This series has been decidedly hit or miss. The first volume, the Gunslinger Born, was fresh and beautifully painted. It covered what we expected it to cover, and therefore was relatively immune from narrative mistakes. The second volume, the Long Road Home, was again beautifully painted, but in some points it was difficult to differentiate between characters, especially the boys of Roland’s ka-tet. The narrative strayed, necessarily, from the hints and pieces that King revealed throughout the Dark Tower novels. Unfortunately, the second volume just didn’t GO anywhere. It was, essentially, the tale of the ka-tet’s journey from Mejis back to Gilead. Nothing new was revealed, save for the unusual origin of Sheemie’s ability to teleport.

This third volume, though, hits all the right notes in all the right places. Again the art is wonderful, and the characters are discernable, despite purposefully muddled finishes. It follows some of King’s Red Slippers (to borrow from Dennis L. McKiernan), but masterfully expands them and fills in the space only our imaginations occupied previously. The narrative is painted with detail as well as with broad strokes that reveal the scope of the events.

This comic, or graphic novel, presents Roland’s mother as far more treacherous and deceptive than gathered from the bits of King’s accounts. The novels painted Gabrielle Deschain as a helpless puppy, easily enamored with Marten the sorcerer. Robin Furth, likely with King’s approval, shows Gabrielle as a vital cog in the fall of Gilead.

This volume has renewed my faith in Furth and Peter David. Based on her involvement with King and the writing of the final three Dark Tower novels, I always thought Furth could do the series justice. I now look forward to subsequent volumes as they examine Roland’s first ka’tet and the start of their quest for the Tower and, ultimately, the Battle of Jericho Hill!

Glenn Beck, without the wild eyes

2009-05-01T08:15:00.003-04:00

Daniel Hannan called Prime Minister Gordon Brown an "insensate juggernought," with the extended British 'oaw' emphasizing the worthlessness of said jugger.

Brilliant!

She hit me! That crazy bitch punched me right in the soul!

2009-04-27T08:47:00.000-04:00

I used to take offense to that word, bitch. I decried misogyny, before I even knew the word ‘misogyny’ (or the word ‘decry’). So insulting, so degrading. As I sought my way in the world, I found that some women wore ‘bitch’ as a badge of honor, like a tattoo. Some even wore a ‘bitch’ tattoo. When did those women stop caring about their internal appearance? ‘Bitch’ became a nickname, an associative label, and eventually a distorted tagline. Today, it’s a common invective, with an oddly amicable aftertaste. I’m sure there are some out there who still take offense to being called a bitch, but it surely doesn’t have the bite that it once had, even just 20 years ago. In my formative years, the ones who wore the ‘bitch’ star and their mothers’ revolvers in low-slung holsters were the exceptions. Today, the rarity is the pure woman, the humble woman, the content woman.

What the fuck happened?

2009-04-21T09:03:00.001-04:00

The one New Year’s Goal that I have been able to stick to, for the most part, is about not letting outside forces control how I react to things. I am NOT the foil of some cosmic sit-com, despite the laugh-track from my socially stunted brothers. (hey, I kid!) Unfortunately, this goal also keeps me from ‘putting it in God’s hands’. That’s just weakness, essentially. I am constantly on Nick’s case about how he reacts to things – it only gets HIM into trouble. I figure I should lead by example. I have not uttered my infamous Rant of Helplessness in quite some time, which used to reference the giant joke on poor lil me.

Still, I find it difficult to focus on writing when there are so many uncertainties going on in my life. That further frustrates me about the time in my life when I HAD a job – there were few frustrations, so I should have done more writing. I try to avoid looking backward, but it’s better to regret the things one has done, rather than regret the things one has NOT done.

I need to overcome that hesitation, though. I always wanted to avoid that pain that I knew creative minds had to go through, always thought I could separate myself from it, my work from my life. My life is what I should be writing about, though. That’s where the struggle, the change, and the depth really are.

I’ve wanted to be a writer for about 8 years now, seriously thought that I could do it. I haven’t, so maybe it’s time to put up or shut up. Do it. Or do not. There is not try.

And maybe (maybe!) it’s time to put the Star Wars references to bed.

Phantom Fears

2009-04-20T09:08:00.001-04:00

This is the start of week 8. I still do not have a job-even a part time job. Kmart had me in for a 2nd interview about 3 weeks ago, but still have not called me for orientation. I’m also awaiting a call back from Savers. I applied at Costco, who I heard pays more than minimum. These are just the part time prospects. I’ve also applied for a number of librarian positions, including University of Michigan. There was a job posting for a librarian at Marvel Comics in New York. How cool would that be!?! Unfortunately, it was an unpaid intern position….

Now, however, I’m actually THINKING. This posit came to me before I lost the job – if you could do anything you wanted for a living, what would it be? I didn’t really know then, and I’m not so sure now; but at least I’m THINKING about it now. Writing? Hockey referee or coach? Computer networks? Of course, it’s not that easy because I have other considerations before I go off and do something just because I think I want to do it for a living.

So two weeks of excitement was followed by five weeks of aimlessness. Now I have a schedule for the day (which still includes writing) and I have a goal – figure out what I want to do.

Then DO IT.

RSWR #12

2009-04-09T09:15:00.002-04:00

On a visit to Chicago in December, we ate some amazingly thick pizza at Giordano’s, on the Magic Mile. The receipt indicated that our order was #66. Order 66.

RSWR #11

2009-04-09T08:21:00.002-04:00

Bad Star Wars costumes.

Some of these are actually cool.

Not Boba Fat; He was not cool when Jason and I first saw him at Celebration II in 2002.

RSWR #10

2009-04-03T13:37:00.002-04:00

Star Wars Fad Products

I’m not necessarily down with the ‘Fad’ classification. To me they’re just a handful of the wacky licenses that were thrown about like confetti. Confetti cut from LucasBucks.

--I had the Darth Vader belt buckle. I was stylin’ at the age of 9!
I’ve never seen Luke’s ceremonial jacket, but the Star Wars fan club offered both Luke’s Bespin jacket and Han’s vest!
--Our whole family went through the latch-hook rug fad around 1980. I had the stormtrooper – it was huge – probably 3’ tall! I only ever finished about 1/3 of it, so I was intimately familiar with the maroon and dark blue little threads! It was eventually (recently?) discarded.
--I played the heck outta that floppy record from the fan club. I sold that and my other Bantha Tracks newsletters to a fan in Western Europe, via Ebay, some years ago.
--The 3-D comics I recently acquired on Ebay; Poor stories and poor 3-D quality, but certainly unique.
--I had a handful of promo and foil cards from the early 90s. I sold a full set of Galaxy I foils. Ebay, yeah.
--I certainly remember the pog fad, but it coincided with the early stages of my Rebellion against the Collecting Craze, so I never had any.
--Nick recently read the only Galaxy of Fear holo-covered book I have. It was acquired late in the game for a paltry yard-sale sum. The X-men comics of the day were the holo-covers I recall most dearly.
--Sweet Boba Fett jacket. In the days of actually PLAYING roller hockey, one guy had a Fett logo sticker, which I didn’t realize at the time was a Fett logo. I've since seen similar tattoos that attest to the popularity of the original Fett.
--The beanie buddies were, I believe, my children’s introduction to Star Wars. They were about 2 (24 months in infant years). Nick had the R2-D2. Jackie had the Chewbacca, which sat on her stuffed animal shelf longer than Nick’s was around. She called it “Beekabacca” and to this day she periodically asks “How did I used to say it?” Yes, she makes me smile.

RSWR #9

2009-04-01T08:17:00.001-04:00

As noted here, we love to watch “The Big Bang Theory.” This week’s episode features Sheldon’s mislabeled and incongruous attempt at mockery following Penny’s disdainful sneer at the hot new neighbor. Sheldon offers up his version of Admiral Ackbar’s line, recently lionized by Robot Chicken’s Star Wars Special. “It’s a trap!” Multiple comedic repetitions later, my daughter catches on to the hilarity. Of course we’ve all seen the Robot Chicken version, so she knows how to make her daddy laugh. She asks what the following line is, and I give her my best Jimmy Stewart-with-gills -- “All craft pull up!” It’s hard to describe her version in audiologic terms – let’s just say it sounds like someone doing a bad imitation of someone doing a bad imitation.

This morning, during breakfast, she mumbles something. Jennifer’s laughing even as I ask Jackie “What?” Jackie repeats, “Itsch a tchrap! All schips pull up!”

Sharp as a tack, that girl. She makes me proud.

Fanboys!

2009-03-25T08:26:00.003-04:00

I have been reading about this movie for about 2 years. It fell off my radar, so to speak, but it popped up recently in limited release. When it came to Toledo, Jen and I went to see it a couple weeks ago.

This movie is hilarious, for so many reasons.

It spoofs fanboys, first of all. No, I'm not a "fanboy". I don't live in my parent's garage, which is lined with memorabilia such as Star Wars window curtains. I don't attack Star Trek fans for calling Han Solo a pussy! I wouldn't drive across the country for a ludicrous chance at breaking into Skywalker Ranch! I don't even own a stormtrooper outfit! Yes, those are 4 things that define the fanboys in this movie.

It has multiple cameos! Randy from 'My Name is Earl' as Harry Knowles of AICN. Kevin Smith, Shatner, and Seth Rogen. Kristin Bell, a well-known fan, has a major role as a Star Wars Chick. No George Lucas, though. Meh.

There are constant sci-fi and geek-pop culture references. Star Wars, of course, in almost every spoken line; Star Trek and trekkies; D&D; and Rush!

Yes, it features the music of Rush, the ultimate geek-pop culture band who seems to be riding a retro-hip tide thanks to Jason Segel!

I laughed for almost the entire 90 minutes.
Jennifer laughed at me laughing for the entire 90 minutes!

Ultimately, it's not a must-see-on-the-big-screen. The plot is thin, but there's enough left of the cancer storyline to make it interesting. It's not meant to be a tear-jerker, but I had tears sliding out my laugh lines!

World Wide D&D Day

2009-03-23T09:57:00.003-04:00

On Saturday, I celebrated World Wide D&D Day with a number of friends, old and new. We had a blast talking about old times - our common experiences and the stories that sound so similar. We shared kef, in a manner of speaking. Food and drink were aplenty, and many trees were sacrificed to the Gods of Preparedness. Our kids played together, and our kids laughed with the rest of us as we watched a certain 18 year old video tape. Oh, and we played Dungeons and Dragons.

Perhaps fittingly, my oldest friend arrived first, even as we were finishing up the house keeping. Jessie and I used to sit on his porch and just make up stories – I would create the situation and he would describe his character’s exploits. He and I have certainly logged the most shared D&D hours. My second oldest friend arrived early also. Edwin and I shared many solo D&D adventures in the tiny kitchen that was his bedroom! Unfortunately Ed couldn’t stay, but he was torn in half by his decision. While I was gone to pick up our second newest friend Keith, our newest friends arrived. Josh and Teresa, who we met through Keith, have played D&D for many years. Josh is about my age, with similar preference in stories and music. Teresa is a truck driver - they got along fast with Jessie and his wife Mary! Keith is a senior at Woodward. Jennifer used to teach him at Riverside. When Jennifer was at Woodward for a year, we found out he also played Magic. We went from meeting him at the library a couple times over the summer to late night magic sessions with Josh and others. Josh introduced Keith to D&D recently, so he was invited as the New Blood. Tim arrived next, with his button-cute Lizzy and armfuls of chips and pop! Tim’s sister once dated Jessie. That’s how we originally met Tim, but he has been our good friend for nearly 20 years! Dave, another original member of the Rahn group, would arrive later – he couldn’t get out of a family birthday party obligation! Dave has been playing for 20 years, with stints as DM in the mix and crazy adventures with his ex, my wife and her ex! My wife Jennifer was very much looking forward to using her new purple dice at this event. She’s played for years as well, and in two other groups beside mine! Another friend, Eric, couldn’t make it, as he now lives in North Carolina.

As we ate, we shared our stories and laughed out loud. The details are mostly lost on me, as I was both laughing too hard and focused on the execution of the actual D&D session to come.
[[You guys are welcome to post them here as replies to this blog!]]

We finally got started. I distributed the pregenerated characters randomly and they selected minis to match. Borrowing from King’s Dark Tower series, they were sucked into the Grapefruit and the fun began!

After dispatching some gargoyles (with claws!), they solved an easy puzzle and boarded an ancient locomotive. As they followed the path of the beam in an attempt to escape the pink Glass, things changed. Dave arrived just after the supersonic locomotive crashed into a giant web. I collected their character sheets and randomly distributed new PCs. 2nd edition PCs! The theme was revealed – the many different formats and rules systems of D&D! We all recalled 2nd edition fairly easily and it went OK – especially when the fire elemental mounted the giant spider! Or, as our eyes perceived it, the Pokemon mated with the spring and bell spider decoration! Everyone got a kick out of using other people’s famous characters. But as they went on and met the half-spider half-ape, it changed to BASIC D&D! Yes, the original Red Box that at least 3 of us started with back in 1983. Basic edition was harder than I remember, but mostly because I’d forgotten the rules in the last 20 years! Oh, and because I had just come up with the whole idea 3 days prior. Oh, and because I asked Dave to find some pdf docs the NIGHT BEFORE! Oh, and some of the character sheets had only names and ability scores! So, that part didn’t go so well. Further along the path of the beam, they fought a Legendary Ape, but this time we used Battle Cards! I had found these at an antique mall last year. They’re from 1993! Each player selects a card, and they have rub off circles, like lottery cards - if so many hits show up, yer dead. I took down one PC, but they eventually killed the large ape! They moved on to a verdant grove where they became 3.5 characters – each other’s most recent characters, including Meesha, noekeres, and Kerwyn. The angry unicorn and his flaming (hoof) buddies were handily destroyed. After moving on to the Badlands, within sight of the giant pink exit globe, they battled an 8-headed hydra. This time, the idea was to go diceless. Each player would describe what they would do and I would describe what would happen. Unfortunately, I did not clarify the idea enough, and everyone went outside the box – no, outside the warehouse! 50’ tall heroes, melted ground, and force choke nee’ magic missiles, among other things, ultimately dispatched the beast, and they exited through the giant pink sphere.

As corny as it sounds (and boy, was it corny when I actually spoke it that night! ), it’s not about the rules or the system or the amount of ink on the page – it’s about friends and stories.

Despite a mixed bag, especially at the end, it was quite a bit of fun. Many belly laughs and giggles, fun pokes and self-ameliorations led to coughing fits on my part! This was easily the most fun I’ve had playing D&D in 10 years. That’s imprecise, because I can’t honestly remember the last time I laughed THAT much in that setting! We’ve had great times since, but we’d have to go back to 1991 for ROTFLOL - and that’s exactly what we did!

I broke out the old video tape from a 1991 D&D session in Todd’s Garage. (Yes, it’s capitalized.) I had it cued to a part where the camera panned across the players. We got a good view of Todd’s ginormous eyeglasses, then there’s Todd’s brother Mark, my brother Mark, Dave, Tim, Jessie, and me. Our kids got a great kick out of seeing the US from nearly 20 years ago! There’s also Jim K., the gravitational pull of charisma, and Greg P., with whom I’ve recently reconnected on Facebook. Tim and Dave and Jessie are all serious, and Todd is trying desperately to hold it together. For the rest of us, though, the long day had deteriorated into a night at the Improv! We got a big kick out of Greg’s camera work, getting nice views of everyone’s butt, including the “classic” shorts worn by both myself and Jessie. There’s Jim’s laughingly dubbed “Same Bat-Channel” shtick. There’s bad Monty Python skits, and poorly-executed Monty Python skits. There are Bill and Ted imitations. There’s a neighborly reprimand from the old lady across the street - and constant reminders of that reprimand! And ultimately, there’s the classic basketball scene from the following day, with fascinating commentary from my ex-wife!

An aside: Our new friend Keith hangs out at school with my ex-wife’s son, a freshman at Woodward! Small world, as they say….

After more reminiscing and sharing of kef and bitching (to the choir!) about the economy and the White House, (and a match that was likely disappointing to a certain young Magic player) we all returned to our lives and went our separate ways.

What a magnificent day! I hope everyone had as much fun as I did.

[[Please post a comment!]]

Odd combinations

2009-03-17T09:53:00.004-04:00

Every once in a while, I wake up with an odd phrase on my tongue.
This often happens before the alarm goes off, so I reach over to the bedside table, pull out the pad and pen, blindly jot down the snippet, and try to return to whatever hypnopompic flight I was on. The return usually fails, but by then I've forgotten about the snippet.

I pulled the pad out recently to find one particularly amusing snippet, the very reason for sharing this.

More skulls, Charlie Brown!

Life happens.

2009-03-17T09:51:00.001-04:00

My Grand Plan for 2009 has been irrevocably changed. Not denied or derailed – I’ll not admit defeat. Change, like hope, is a double edged sword.

Back on February 26th (the very afternoon after the most recent post here) my boss told me that my position was being eliminated. No fault of my own. Very sorry. Tough times. A decent severance. Priority interview for positions in the system. All that. Before the “exit interview” was even half over, I was thinking about all the doors this would open up. I started thinking about returning to my first employer, the Toledo Public Library. I thought about the Monroe County Library System. I thought about finishing my degree as Network Specialist. I NEVER thought of it as a problem. The only issue I had was not being able to wrap up things in progress. And I had a LOT in progress… I felt my clients were getting shafted. I really don’t know how they can operate the entire system with 1 librarian. I let my family down, but I can only believe it’s for a reason. For a better reason.

Here it is almost 3 weeks later. I’ve put in a number of applications, at places I did not think of at that exit interview. ITT Technical Institute, Sienna Heights University in Adrian. University of Michigan! I will soon be getting a part time job, so that I can collect a double income. I have not accomplished as much around the house as I had hoped to. Now that the weather has broken, I’ll be able to work outside, too.

So, it’s been a jumble of emotions over the last 3 weeks. Stealthy anxiety is still crawling around in my duodenum, like that flu bug last weekend. I’m still looking for job opps, still working on cover letters and follow ups. Still doing laundry and entering recipes. I’m still in love, still loved. And, ultimately, still writing about it all.

A white, a black and a mexican walk into a bar...

2009-02-26T07:42:00.002-05:00

I love racial comedy. It’s irreverent and self-deprecating, two of the funniest types of comedy. Unfortunately, it’s not appreciated, much less tolerated, by all. The disparity arises in the association of the teller of the joke to the subject of the joke - if the cracker is a cracker. Members of the referenced group are allowed to make jokes for which others would be criticized. Is it NOT offensive simply because the presenter is a member of the stereotyped group? We feel differently about a joke depending on who said it. Are you laughing with us, or at us?

So, we’re allowed to laugh at racist stereotypes, as long as we’re a member of the stereotyped group. I find it...interesting that this limitation, this condition doesn’t hold true for all groups. A gentile referring to a parsimonious Jew would be detestable. A non-African American would be probably get fired for referring to “nappy-headed hoes.” Yet a black comedian can vociferate on honkeys and crackers and how white men can’t jump or have small penises. It’s even OK for a Mexican comedian to crack on whites AND blacks! Why is it not unacceptable for whites to poke fun at the obvious (thus hilarious) stereotypes of blacks eating fried chicken and collared greens, or Mexicans crossing the border?

The whole idea of Political Correctness is preposterous. I say tell it like it is. Call a spade a spade, as Mom might say. Actually, Dad is more likely to say that. (Mom and Dad, here, represent the little voices in everyone’s head that emerge unbidden and attempt to guide you, whether you’re lost or not.)

A whole lot of confusion and grief could be prevented if more people spoke their true minds.
The world, or at least the good ol’ US of A, needs a little more ethical egoism.

A short time ago, after noticing how my kids would blurt the name of the president-elect, I asked my daughter what his first name was. Her answer: Baracko. Hilarious. To non-liberals.

The old “Vote of Confidence”

2009-02-24T09:41:00.002-05:00

Wings aren't seeking goalie

Yeah, they are.

Out of the blue, they called up Jimmy Howard from the AHL.

They may even waive Osgood, leaving cap space for next year, and go with Conklin down the stretch.

Share.

2009-02-24T09:39:00.000-05:00

In the Stephen King story “The Girl who loved Tom Gordon”, the main character is lost in the woods of western Maine for about 6 days. After trouncing through a bog, dealing with injuries, insects, and insecurities, she sees a bush full of edible berries. She finds a place to rest and tunes into the Red Sox game on her radio headphones. As she drifts off to sleep after a save by Tom Gordon, she comments that she is “experiencing her life’s great contentment.”

What’s YOUR life’s great contentment? Have you even experienced it yet? If not, do you have a plan for achieving it? Is there only one?

For the lost 10 year old girl, it was as simple as a handful of berries, relief from bug bites, and the familiar voices of baseball announcers.

I loved the Marvel Star Wars comics!

2009-02-23T20:30:00.002-05:00

10 Awesome Marvel Comics Covers

Most of my fondest Christmas memories revolve around Star Wars, and one of my very favorite gifts was something that kept on giving! It came in a plain brown paper sleeve about the size of a piece of lined writing paper, with MY name and mailing address in faint blue print on the long side. I had slid the contents out and was stunned into geeky ecstasy by the fabulous cover to Star Wars #57, Battle on Bespin! After a few minutes of gushing appreciation to the giver, she had further explained that it was a subscription! I was to get the next 11 issues MAILED DIRECTLY TO ME! I was 11 years old - I had no idea that was even possible!

For the next 50 months, I eagerly checked the mailbox for the latest issue. I cut my comic-loving teeth on the Shira Brie storyline. Issues #60-63 still stand as one of the best Star Wars stories ever written. I, too, sought the meaning of the word ‘pariah’ from the cover of issue #62. The search for Han Solo, issues #68 and 69, featured Mandalorians and the first incarnation of the origin of Boba Fett. Issue #68? Best. Cover. Ever.

The later issues, especially after #100, devolved into iconographic jingoism. Because the series ended with #107, the extra-galactic invaders storyline was forced to be elucidated far faster (and far shoddier) than in the New Jedi Order series so many years later. This ending, however, led me to another comic that I greatly enjoy to this day. I still had issues left on my subscription when the title was cancelled, so I selected a comic called ElfQuest to finish my paid subscription. (ElfQuest is a beautiful fantasy story and a shining example of a successful independent comic publisher, but not truly part of this essay!)

The Star Wars subscription also propelled the parallel fandom of my uncle and me. In an effort to complete the collection, which was about 56 issues short, we would go to comic book shows at the mall, check out flea markets, and peruse all sorts of rummage sales.

Forever-thanks go out to my Aunt Pete. This gift was one of the chief points in the development of my appreciation of family and the generous people around us who made Christmas so special for me, my brothers, and all my cousins. I have fond memories of Christmas Eve gatherings at my grandparents’ house next door, when everyone would come to visit, before “everyone” became true hyperbole.

Editorial:
This essay wavered between RSWR and tripe-ish gushing. Ultimately, I’m not sure if I just settled in order to have something done, or if I truly edited this effectively. And there has to be a better word for ‘forever-thanks’.

Rolling Stone review of third greatest hits package from Rush.

2009-02-23T20:26:00.002-05:00

Quoted from www.rushisaband.com

Prog-y arena giants hit the Nineties, with mixed results.
By the Nineties, Rush had all but abandoned their synthesizers for the Zeppelin-style riffs and prog-pop melodies of their Seventies albums. This one-CD (plus bonus DVD) anthology tracks the band as it drifts from the summery, grunge-flavored anthem "Earthshine" to the acoustic-based "Nobody's Hero," a sweet, if clumsy, ode to a dead gay man and an abused woman - with occasional departures like the New Wave-ish "Roll the Bones." One thing Rush never lost: the comic-book profundity of lyrics such as "They travel in the time of the prophets" ("Dreamline"). Unless you're a Rush loyalist or a member of Coheed and Cambria, you can safely skip Retrospective III.
MARK KEMP

Harsh! "...clumsy ode to a dead gay man..."

If this is how “critics” view Rush, it’s no wonder they are not in the Hall of Fame in Cleveland!

Fortunately, most Rush fans don’t take themselves too seriously, and many are also fans of Coheed and Cambria!

2008-09 NHL Trade Tracker

2009-02-20T09:43:00.001-05:00

2008-09 NHL Trade Tracker

Posted using ShareThis

2002, an eventful year.

2009-02-16T20:40:00.004-05:00

I came upon an old calendar recently, which detailed the year 2002 for my family and I.
What a busy time that was!

April 4. Vasectomy by Dr. Tapper. Dr. Richard Tapper. Dr. Dick Tapper. No lie.

May 3-5. Jason W. and I went to Indianapolis for Star Wars Celebration II. That was a great trip!

May 7. I won the Episode 2 soundtrack on CD, at an online joke site. My caption for THIS photo was the best! (Stifferus is me.) When I received it, though, there was a hole punched through the bar code! So much for “Near Mint”…

May 16. Star Wars Episode II opened. Jen and I saw Attack of the Clones at 4:30 pm that day.

May 18-21. I went to Dallas for the Medical Library Association annual meeting. Non Stop Detroit to Dallas, less than 1 year after 9/11. That was interesting. Dallas had Horses displayed throughout the city, the way Toledo did frogs that summer before. I took plenty of photos for Jackie.

June 30. Jennifer turned 30. She was more worried about 30 than when she turned 35 last year!

October 27. We had the kids’ 5th birthday party at the Northtowne Meadows community house.

November. We purchased and moved into our home at Northtowne Meadows.
In hindsight, a less than stellar decision.

December 7-12. We went to Disney World! What an awesome trip that was. Layovers in Atlanta on the way there, Cincinnati on the way back. The only issue we had was getting from the airport to the hotel when we first got there.

Hard to believe that it’s been 7 years!
Every year seems to go by a little bit faster.

And yes, I discarded the calendar.

For reference, here is a handful of world events from 2002.

January 8 - The No Child Left Behind Act is signed into law by U.S. President George W. Bush.

May 30 - The final piece of debris from The World Trade Center is removed from Ground Zero.

October 2 - The Beltway sniper attacks begin with 5 shootings in Montgomery County, Maryland.

November 25 - George W. Bush signs the Homeland Security Act into law, establishing the Department of Homeland Security.

And for the truly geeky… according to the future history of Star Trek, the first interstellar probe, Nomad, is launched in 2002.

RSWR #8

2009-02-11T07:44:00.002-05:00

I think, with a little effort, I could write a better column than THIS.

I sold a bunch of my toys about 10 years ago - the vehicles and playsets, but not the action figures themselves. Today, my 11 year old son LOVES to play with the OLD figures! He has a ton of cool-looking NEW stuff, including a the TIE fighter I always wanted and the massive Millenium Falcon, but to him the old figures are WAY cooler.

That’s pretty neat in my book.

Steve's Hockey Corner

2009-02-10T07:22:00.001-05:00

Wayne Gretzky should quit coaching and go somewhere to quietly enjoy his last 20 years. His preening and pissing on the bench only serves to sully his image as ice hockey’s modern pioneer and one-time face of the game. He should be in some role in the league office, not in Phoenix or New York or even Edmonton. It’s just hard to watch him curse at the refs, throw his hands up and scowl. Between the anger and the aging, his face is hardening! It’s a shame, really.

My biggest complaint while watching hockey is the shoddy camera work. After a stoppage, the camera will follow the goalie as he does his little circle in the corner instead of focusing on the scrum in the crease! Or they follow the puck to the linesman picking it up, while some doofusses (doofi?) are roughing up each other with stinky gloves. I don’t know if this is just the Detroit cameramen. Someone out there tell me if they see this problem elsewhere.

Did anyone watch the Skill’s Competition from Montreal, during All-Star weekend? Once again, poor production from Versus. I knew I shoulda recorded it on CBC. Specifically, there were numerous times when they dwelled on a replay while action was commencing live. The first time, they ran a replay of Stamkos in the shootout while Alex Ovechkin was pumping up the crowd! They totally missed the biggest personality in the game today, to replay some kid (who should still be in juniors) fiddle with the puck like he’s shooting at a garbage can on the pond! There were at least 2 more similar occurrences. At least we didn’t have to listen to Pierre Maguire! Don’t get me started on that guy….

I’ve changed my mind in the last month or so. The Red Wings DO need to trade for a goaltender if they are going to compete against the Sharks or the Flames come playoff time. They don’t have much cap room, so it’s going to be difficult. Conklin has been inconsistent and has no playoff experience, while Osgood has been just plain Os-BAD! Ozzy ranks last in save percentage and GAA. LAST, out of 44 eligible rubber-eaters. Maybe Cam Ward or Vokoun in Florida? Could they get a guy like Manny Fernandez in Boston, or Khabibulan in Chicago? Both teams have essentially 2 number 1 goalies, but the Wings would have to offer quite a package. Maybe Conklin and Lebda or Lilja for Fernandez. Osgood and Lebda AND Lilja for Fernandez and another body. I’d buy that for a dollar, as the saying goes. Regardless, I think the Wings will pull a major move this year.

Nick Lidstrom is, in my mind, the greatest defenseman since Bobby Orr, and the 3rd greatest of all time, behind Orr and Doug Harvey. The 4 Stanley Cups puts Lidstrom above Ray Bourque, easily.

REVIEW: The Girl who loved Tom Gordon

2009-01-28T20:42:00.001-05:00

The Girl who loved Tom Gordon
Written by Stephen King
Originally published in 1999
Read by Anne Heche

In this shortish novel, King writes from the perspective of a very intelligent 9 year old girl. She is a resourceful child, surviving a week or more lost in the wilderness of western Maine. Again, he manages to capture the setting and perspective perfectly. There really is little horror content, beyond the girl’s food- and sleep deprived delusions of the God of the Lost.

I probably would have enjoyed it more if I were a fan of baseball, particularly the Red Sox. Still, I know sports enough to appreciate the baseball conceit.

Of unknown significance is the fact that this was King’s last completed novel before that wayward van nearly took his life.

Anne Heche does an admiral job with the reading. I was skeptical at first, but she is one of those celebrities against whom I am prejudiced based on her reputation. Actually, I know very little about her. She liberates the voice of Trisha with good timing and inflection, and mirrors the girl’s declining health in her narration. Well done.

Nitpick 1: How many 9 year old girls know that much about baseball or survival and nature skills, not to mention BOTH!

Nitpick 2: Deus Ex Machina strikes again. Although the narrative hints that the bear was already backing away, the save really comes from the random hunter who happens to crest a rise just as the girl and the bear are waltzing.

RSWR #7

2009-01-28T20:39:00.002-05:00

This is kinda how Ben Burtt started out - collecting random sounds!

RSWR #6

2009-01-26T21:45:00.000-05:00

THE STAR WARS / STAR TREK CONNECTIONS

This week is truly a moment in history. No, not the US Presidential inauguration; we're talking about the collision of two major sci-fi universes. A Star Trek legend is guest-starring in this week's The Clone Wars episode, "Defenders of Peace." George Takei of Hikaru Sulu fame is voicing a Neimoidian officer, General Lok Durd. Though some fans like to imagine a competition between both venerable franchises, Star Wars and Star Trek have on occasion pulled from the same pool of acting talent. Here's a sample of cross-overs that have occurred in the past:

William Shatner: Okay, the legendary Captain Kirk has not appeared in any Star Wars materials, but he did memorably serenade George Lucas at 2005 AFI Lifetime Tribute and was carried away by dancing stormtroopers. That's gotta count for something.

Brock Peters: The actor most well known for his role in To Kill a Mocking Bird had several notable Star Trek appearances, as Admiral Cartwright in the classic Trek movies and the elder Joseph Sisko in Deep Space Nine. Star Wars fans may recognize his voice as Darth Vader in the National Public Radio dramatizations.

Malachi Throne: Another extremely distinctive voice in sci-fi, Throne played Commodore Jose Mendez in "The Menagerie" episodes of the original series, and Romulan Senator Pardek in TNG. It's his voice that narrates the very first Star Wars trailer that announces "somewhere in space... this may all happening right now."

Michael Bell: Kids who grew up in the '80s will remember Michael Bell's voice from a slew of cartoons, where he most famously played Duke in G.I.JOE. Bell was in the first TNG episode as Groppler Zorn and later played a Bajoran resistance fighter on DS9. In Star Wars, he is the voice of Commander Willard, who greets Princess Leia upon her arrival at the Yavin base.

Carel Struycken: Carel Struycken has made a career of playing outlandishly tall characters; you may remember him as Lurch in the new Addams Family movies. He played Mr. Homn, Lwaxana Troi's aide in TNG, and the evil Marauder King Terak in the second Ewoks live action TV Movie.

Fionnula Flanagan: She has played multiple roles in Trek, including Data's "mother" in TNG, a former lover of Dax's in DS9, and a Vulcan diplomat on Enterprise. In the first Ewoks TV movie, she played Catarine Towani, young Cindel's mom.

Ethan Phillips: Best known for his role as Neelix, the alien cook on Voyager, Phillips has provided voices to numerous Star Wars video games, iuncluding Force Commander, Galactic Battlegrounds and Knights of the Old Republic.

David Warner: Another unmistakable voice, Warner is best remembered as the Master Control Program in Tron. He has several major Trek roles, including Chancellor Gorkon in The Undiscovered Country and Gul adred in TNG. He supplied his voice to an Imperial general in Star Wars video game, Force Commander.

Clive Revill: Revill was the voice of the original Emperor who appeared in the theatrical version of The Empire Strikes Back. He played Sir Guy of Gisborne, enemy of Robin Hood, in the fanciful TNG episode, "Qpid."

Raphael Sbarge: He played the recurring character of former Maquis crewman Michael Jonas on Star Trek: Voyager, as well as Carth Onasi, one of the main leads in Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic.

Felix Silla: A little person performer with plenty of sci-fi credits (he was Twiki on Buck Rogers!), Silla was both a alosian in the very first Trek pilot, and also a stunt Ewok in Return of the Jedi.

Brian George: You may know him as Babu Bhatt on Sienfeld, this versatile character actor played Julian Bashir's father on DS9 and Anatarian ambassador O'Zaal in Voyager. In The Clone Wars, he plays the Toydarian monarch King Katuunko.

Jason Wingreen: Who would have thought Archie Bunker's bartender, Harry Snowden, would have such sci-fi cred? In addition to playing Dr. Linke in the original series episode "The Empath," he was the original voice of Boba Fett in the theatrical edition of The Empire Strikes Back.

RSWR #5

2009-01-26T21:44:00.001-05:00

Bounty Hunter bean art.

Fascinating.

"Jimmy's my Jewish Friend."

2009-01-26T21:22:00.002-05:00

Despite lingering prejudices, I’m no racist.

I realize starting a piece with this statement might predicate a falsehood or, worse, hypocrisy, but I think it’s important to differentiate the two in advance of the main thrust. Racism is the active judgment of an individual based on their skin color or ethnic background, while Prejudice, to me, is the unconscious residue of previously- or parentally held beliefs. In my mind, Racism is a conscious act while Prejudice is sub-conscious, autonomic. As with other personality traits, Prejudice can be overcome or overwritten, like a floppy disk. Racism is inexcusable, deplorable, and disdainful. Prejudice is surmountable, unlearnable. I further realize that this is not the dictionary definition of Prejudice, but rather my perception of the usage, especially in this context.

I believe Barack Obama won the election because of Racism.

I’m not politically motivated. As most of you may know, I’m not a particularly motivated person in any respect. I call myself a right-leaning fence-sitter. Over the last 2-3 years, I’ve just about fallen off that fence, though. I still cling to the pickets, seeking a rational liberal with which to have a complete discussion on the formations of their basic principles. I have yet to find that, but not, as the conservatives would have it, because there is no such thing. I think it’s because my circle of friends and my social networking skills limit my reach. I believe in smaller federal government and personal responsibility. I don’t want any more of my tax money funding the thousands of federal handouts.

I had not followed the election very closely at first. I did read Obama’s WIKI entry back in early 2008, around the time that the Democratic nomination was unofficially down to him and Hillary. I was impressed at the time with his education and public service. It was clear to me that he was not a Muslim, despite dozens of warning emails indicating his radical heritage.

Soon after he won the nomination, I heard Ice Cube on the radio. He was saying how he had never voted before, but would get out there this time for “my man.” This was the first inkling I had that something was not quite right.

So, I did a little more reading, a little more listening, and a little more wondering.

I read about his connections to William Ayers, which turned out to be slim. I looked into his connections to the Rev. Jeremiah A. Wright Jr., who gushed divisive racial views on more than one occasion. I listened to the media hype about Obama’s socialistic agenda. His campaign promises grate against my belief in lesser federal involvement, but it’s really more like collectivism than socialism. That was when I realized I did not want him to be my president.

On election night, when we realized he was going to win, I had a queasy feeling. A premonition? I doubt it. Bad hoummos? Unlikely. Still, I found it disconcerting. It seemed the ultimate act of racism had been committed.

Yes, I believe that Obama won the election because of the color of his skin. People such as Ice Cube stated that they would vote for him just because he was black. Large numbers of first-time voters tilted the poles in his favor. 95% of black voters voted for Obama. 55% of white voters voted for McCain. Blacks were 13% of voters, whites were 74%. If half of black voters voted for McCain, 6.5% of the total popular vote would have made the difference a mere half-million votes! Still in Obama’s favor, but much closer!

Maybe I’m overly influenced by Glenn Beck, who I find to be hysterical (not funny-hysterical) at times and super-logical at others. I don’t watch or listen to his show, but I do subscribe to his daily newsletter, which questions every move of the MSM and liberal left with unwavering, unappealing condescension.

It certainly is not a party thing. As a right-leaning fence-sitter, I claim no party affiliation. Big Politics is anathema to Small Government, so I avoid the rails of party lines. Lesser of two evils and all that.

One factor is certainly the timing of the rise of my political awareness. The last 8 years has seen amazing technological advances as well as deplorable human regression, all of them held up to the light of the Bush administration.

I will give Obama a chance, the benefit of the doubt; the jump ball arrow points to him. I respect his position and, to a certain extent, him personally. Furthermore, I claim no measure of decisiveness or expertise on this or any other sociopolitical issue.

I am throwing it out there for discussion.

RSWR #4

2009-01-21T07:22:00.004-05:00

This is a pretty cool piece about the tactical displays in the original Star Wars.

Yes, Star Wars, not "Episode IV" or "A New Hope."

From my heart and from my hand...

2009-01-20T07:42:00.001-05:00

Just bits and pieces today.

The Clerks animated show (2000) is (was?) freaking side-splitting. Sadly, this show lasted only 6 episodes. We watched one this weekend that was WHACK! The title was "A Dissertation on the American Justice System by People Who Have Never Been Inside a Courtroom, Let Alone Know Anything About the Law, but Have Seen Way Too Many Legal Thrillers" The way scenes slip into each other, like Kevin Smith’s very thoughts come to life, is engaging and hilarious. It's Monty Python without the slapstick.
Read about it here. Clerks: The Animated Series

My brother has started a blog. No, my other brother Darryl. Check it out HERE. And he joined Facebook. Cool.

I played Magic on Friday for the first time in about –damn, almost a year! My uncle (you know who you are) and I played our own format, CRAP magic. It’s a French acronym. No, the words are not French – the order of the words is rearranged, like they do in French, to make the acronym a real word. It stands for Cards, Random, in A Pile. We take a bunch of cards, no lands, put them into a pile, and draw. You can put a card face-down and it acts as all basic lands. For 2 mana during your upkeep, you can put a ‘land’ back into your hand. My uncle and I had a lot of fun as we explored the new cards in the Shards of Alara set. I won the first game, then he won SIX in a row! Definitely had a blast!

A fabulous no-prize to anyone who identifies the reference that connects the title to the first line ("...bits and pieces...").

RSWR #3

2009-01-14T21:30:00.000-05:00

Here is a pretty cool HD map of the Star Wars Galaxy.

You should probably set it as your desktop background.

Now.

RSWR #2

2009-01-14T21:29:00.000-05:00

The Self-Fulfilling Prophet strikes back!
I mention the loads of Star Wars references on the Simpsons and lo! - scifiwire puts out a feature about it.

Mediumer Education

2009-01-14T21:22:00.001-05:00

Lost in the shuffle of redesigning 2009 has been my pursuit of higher education. Classes start this week at Monroe County Community College. Network Security and Technical Writing are the two classes I’m taking this semester. This will be the first semester, of 4 so far, that I will be learning something new. Previous classes included PC operating systems, Network concepts, and Help desk concepts, most of which were modulations of what I’ve self-taught in the last 10 years. I’m looking forward to it, but with trepidation at the time I’ll have to put into it. I WILL continue the writing, though, and the priority of family remains.

Yes, it is an Associate degree. I do have a Masters in Library Science. I tend to do things in jumbled, unconventional sequence. Kids, shack up, marriage. Buy stuff, need stuff, pay for stuff. Bachelors, Masters, Associates. This degree will likely not help with the 2009 Big Goal, but it will offer another tack for future career endeavors. We do a lot with online resources that have to be shared through our internal network. If I know how the networks operate, I can make the most of our knowledge-based information resources. As with automobiles, there will always be a demand for those who can repair and maintain computers and networks.

It’s all part of the bigger goal of MAKING MORE MONEY.

So that we can get another dog.

"Run it through - DISCHARGE!"

2009-01-12T15:33:00.001-05:00

Weekends are just tough to find time to write. One would think there’s all this extra time, but it gets filled up pretty quick. Dinner, movie, car repair, family gathering, horse lesson, dinch (lunch/dinner), homework, housework, DVR, reading about writing... like one’s possessions tend to fill one’s residential storage space, one’s weekend activities tend to fill the nooks and crannies of one’s allotted hours.

That’s BS. We both know it. With a little extra effort, I could find lots of time to write. In fact, I was just reading an issue of the Writer that had multiple feature articles about finding time to write, balancing family and freelancing. I was falling asleep while reading, but that’s beside the point… I’m not here to make excuses. This blog is a vehicle to get my fingers moving. To be a writer, one has to actually write. A lot. Even if I am writing about not writing, it’s SOMETHING.

2009 is indeed going to be a year of change, and it starts with the discharge of self-deception.

RSWR clarification

2009-01-12T15:28:00.002-05:00

I’ve had this idea for a while, and just wanted to get it up here, in the least to remind ME, but I didn’t make that very clear in the post. My intention is to periodically post a RSWR whenever I come across one, the obscurest being the most desirable. I mean, everyone knows about Jennifer Aniston in the Slave Leia outfit, so I won’t even mention that. The Simpsons use them almost every week. Then there's Robot Chicken.

Oddly enough, as I wrote the original post, I could not recall the specifics of any single RSWR.

Here, then, is RSWR #1.
From 30 Rock, starring Tina Fey, featuring Peter Dinklage as little person Stuart, a serendipitous love interest to Fey’s Liz Lemon...

Stuart: "It’s my fault for wanting to hear all about your job, it’s just so much more interesting than the UN."
Liz Lemon: "Oh come on, really? You have all those different languages and the costumes and that big meeting room; it must be like working in the Galactic Senate in Star Wars."
Stuart: "They are similar. We are also very concerned about the growing influence of the Sith lords."

Terribly funny show, this is.

This episode also features stunning cleavage from guest Salma Hayak. They both can be viewed here. The episode and the cleavage, I mean.

Random Star Wars References

2009-01-09T23:03:00.001-05:00

Star Wars has long been pervasive in the popular culture. One can find references to it in many matters and manners, and rather frequently. As a long time fan, I at least smile at each and every one of them, so I thought I would take a minute and share them with you. (Grammar aficionados will note that the usage of ‘you’ here can imply singular OR plural, as is appropriate to my quantum readership.)

This will be an ongoing feature here at Mayo’s Law.

You should do the RSS thingy, so as not to miss a single RSWR!

Self-fulfilling prophet

2009-01-09T22:59:00.001-05:00

Since Psychology 101, my very first class at the U of Toledo, I have been captivated by the term ‘self-fulfilling prophecy’. Though I understand the scientific usage, it always seemed to have so much unfulfilled potential! The fantasy geek in me always wanted to use it in some cool-ass D&D adventure, while the quiescent writer in me wanted to use it in some cool-ass play on words.

Over the years, the geek has matured and the writer has stirred in his caldera domicile, with neither having taken advantage of the phrase. Recently, though, I may have transcended the simple usage of the term. I believe I have become a self-fulfilling prophet in my own right!

Three incidents support my assertion, two for which I have proof!
On Monday night, I watched the Fiesta Bowl between Ohio State and Texas. The Buckeyes had gone ahead with about 2 minutes left in the game. One announcer immediately said they scored TOO quickly. “Nonsense!” was my initial reaction, but before they even kicked it off, I KNEW Texas was going to score! They did. (Honestly, this has happened before with sporting events, particularly the 1997 NHL playoffs when the Red Wings lost the first game of the conference finals at home to the Avalanche. I KNEW they would come back and win that series, and they did.)
On Wednesday evening, we were driving to dinner in the light snow. I had said to Jennifer that I was thinking of calling our park manager to suggest they put salt down on this kind of snow, which created icy conditions when it melted and refroze, which had happened 2-3 times already this season. Someone was bound to wreck and get hurt. While driving HOME from dinner, I was going a little too fast on balding tires while turning into the park. I lost control – literally had NO control – and slid into and over the curb!
On Thursday morning, I wrote an entry that got posted that evening, regarding the winter weather. I said “The only thing absent is a massive snow storm with major accumulations.” Hours later, the 11:00 forecast indicated just that! As I post this on Friday evening, there’s already 3-5 inches on the ground.

What does this all mean? Rationally, nothing. Spiritually, it could be seen as a manifestation of my declaration of intent to be free from the machinations of a malevolent universe.

Yeah, probably nothing.

Cold.

2009-01-08T21:10:00.001-05:00

Each year, my tolerance for winter gets shorter. It’s nice to have snow and cold around the holidays, appropriate even. But by the end of January, I’m ready for the sun and natural warmth.

Here it is only the first week of January, and northwest Ohio has seen the gamut of winter weather already. Snow, ice, sleet, blowing snow, [Inuit word for beady snow that flies around like little styrofoam balls without the static electricity], freezing rain, rain, ground fog, freezing FOG, and on December 27, 70 degree temps! We were visiting friends in Columbus that weekend, celebrating the holidays with a very nice dinner while the windows were open and the kids played outside! The only thing absent is a massive snow storm with major accumulations.

According to certain meteorologists, the upcoming week is statistically the coldest week of the season. The forecasted lows of -2 to -7 will likely confirm that! I wonder what it’s like in Orlando about now…

Dry skin, wet floors, salt-encrusted boots, problematic automobiles...I’m done with that shite already!

New year....redux

2009-01-08T07:43:00.001-05:00

It is my stated goal to post something here everyday. That something may be earth shatteringly germane, or numbingly inane. It my rhyme and it may not.

I only wish to reward my loyal reader.

The posts, however, may seem as stale as Toledo Blade headlines. My employer has added restrictions to web access, including gambling (fantasy hockey), games (the SRD), and social networking sites (blogs, facebook). So, sometimes a new post may seem like old news, just like when the Blade prints a headline that was on the internets as much as 30 hours previously!

I will write each morning, but it may not get posted until that evening or the following morning from my home PC.

The Dark Tower: The Long Road Home

2009-01-08T07:38:00.002-05:00

The Dark Tower: The Long Road Home
Graphic Novel
Robin Furth, et al.

I had waited for about 3 months to read this, because I didn’t want to invest money and time into collecting the 5 issues when they originally came out. So, after having it on request through the library for long and long, I finally got to read it recently. I’m certainly glad I did not dump my money into it!

The art is beautiful, certainly. The colors are amazing. But in 5 issues of a comic book, at $4.00 each normally, only 2 major things happened. Sheemie got his powers from some robot (contradictory to canon) and Roland turned dark and brooding after spending time with the Crimson King in the extra dimensional grapefruit. Sure, there’s action and daring and a little characterization to Alain and Cuthbert, but since we already know they die at Jericho Hill, we know there’s no real threat. The last part of the last issue reveals more than the rest of the issues combined! The King says he’s Roland’s cousin of old, both descended from the line of Eld, and Roland hides the grapefruit from his father.

The map of End-World at the end of the volume is pretty cool. It shows the relationships of the sites in the last 3 novels – Calla Bryn Sturgis, Castle Discordia, Empathica, and the Can’ka No Ray, among others.
I was further disappointed, however, that this collection did not include the written extras from the individual issues; the historical tidbits and background pieces that added some value to the $4.00 installments.

I hope the next one is more fulfilling, d’ya ken it.

New year, new layout, new motivations.

2009-01-06T22:01:00.001-05:00

Though I haven’t actually started the new year till today, January 6, I am determined to make 2009 a year of major changes.

It sometimes seems the universe moves against me. So many things seem frustratingly intent on making my life more difficult. But that is one of the things I intend to change – that attitude. Really…just because the shovel broke on the ice-encased driveway does not mean there is some cosmic force working against me. It means the shovel was old and worn and I should have used the hoe to break the ice better. Additionally, having that attitude – expressing that attitude – is setting a poor example for my children. I’ve always tried to avoid being a “do as I say not as I do” parent. Blaming the universe is just another attempt to avoid responsibility.
I want to improve my productivity at work, also. There are many projects that have gone unaccomplished; many that will apply to my desired future in the technology field.

I intend to really LEARN something this semester at school, too. It is essential to our ultimate goal (see below) that I network my networking skills into something beneficial.

The biggest goal of the year is to move out of the trailer and get a real house. I have a lot of work there, but everything we do has to be working toward that. That is one of the main reasons Jen is working at Kroger for some extra money. Paying off bills leads to that. Spending less leads to that. Organizing the house leads to that. Packing things up, weeding through books, boxing up yard sale detritus – it all leads to selling the trailer and getting into a new house.

I want to make 2009 a creative year, too. This is going to be the hardest part for which to find time. Writing, drawing, painting, crafts, etc. It is high time I do something with the skills I so enjoyed as a child and young adult.

Of course, all of this takes a back seat to my main job – dad and husband. I take great pride in these, and it certainly is my intention to improve my performance at both of them. I will do so my focusing more on the kids, and by doing what Jennifer tells me to do. That may sound pandering and narcissistic, but 95% of the time she’s right!

Everything we do this year will help us move toward the goal of getting into a new house. And there is only one reason we want to get a new house (with a yard.)

So that we can get another dog.

Star Wars theme song sing-along

2009-01-06T22:00:00.000-05:00

Some classically funny star wars stuff.

Hockey things.

2008-12-04T13:42:00.002-05:00

Finally, the inline hockey league in which I referee is about to start!
This activity is doubly beneficial. I get paid and I get exercise!

The Toledo street hockey league has just found out that they will have exclusive access to the Ravine Park tennis courts on the East Side next year. Plans are underway to create complete boards for the site, and possibly a second rink. I'm going to try to join them after the Monroe gig is up, some time in April.

The LAFH fantasy hockey league is always fun. I recently got out of the basement, but I'm sure it won't last. With only 5 players, it's a little swingy, but it IS free!

I'm looking forward to some skating with Nick this winter, both indoor and out. Santa will be bringing him his own helmet this Christmas, so that'll make me feel a little more comfortable.

Sean Avery.

This is the year of the injured goaltender! Brodeur, Luongo, Nabakov are the biggest names that have been out for extended period. Many minor names are getting hurt, too. Of course, they are ALL on my 'can't cut' list, on LAFH! Dammit.

At least the Coach's Corner theme music is still intact.

I'm still not a big fan of Ken Daniels, Wings play-by-play mouth, despite national recognition from Bucci!

I had dinner with Stephen King.

2008-11-17T10:41:00.001-05:00

At least, I dreamt I had dinner with Stephen King. At least it was some kind of meal. This seems wildly significant, but I’ll start by relating the tale.

Jen and I drove to his apartment. Yes, apartment. It was drab, somewhat run down. A rather Detroit feel, which is a term I later associated it with. I went up the stairs and he let me in, rather familiarly. I go in and wait around for him to get ready. He’s nonchalant, chatting away about minor things, a detail which now eludes me. I’m getting impatient, because Jen is down there waiting. At one point, he even lays on the couch as if he’s gonna take a nap! I urge him to get going, not angrily but not casually, a detail that was not even present in the dream. He wears a gray drab T shirt that’s long, like it’s for big & tall men, which he is. Tall.
We finally get out, and get down to the car. This part is unclear, but Jen and I leave him in the car to wait while we are getting something. An unrecalled transition, and Jen and I are up in OUR apartment, which seems to be in the same building. At some point JEN lies down on the couch as if to take a nap. I mention to her that he had done the same thing! After more unrecalled dawdling, I say - We have STEPHEN KING in the car waiting for us, and we’ve been up here for 20 minutes!
So, we finally go and Stephen King had gone up the back way to HIS apartment to use the bathroom! Jen and I go just down the street to some carry out/pharmacy, to wait on Stephen King. I ask Jen - What city are we in, where does this take place? A sign on the grocery store wall says Phoenix, Arizona. I’m not sure, in the dream, if it is an ad or if it is some indicator of our location. So, we buy a couple things ( a lost detail…) and exit.
I see Stephen King a few feet away, like he’s looking around for us. He stands out because he’s so tall. I call out “STEVE!” He sees us and we meet up. I again note his height as we stand up next to him. The busy street is like something out of Blade Runner, without all the neon. We transition to the eating location, a detail that was not present. We are sitting at tables like a school lunch room! There are a lot of other people. After an unrecalled transition, Jen is sitting by him, but I’m off doing something else. Then I think to myself - We’re having dinner with Stephen King! I should go sit by him and ask him questions! So, I do so. I ask him a couple things, which are lost already! I tell him that I am not a writer because I do not write, but I think I have stories inside. More lost detail. As we’re getting ready to leave, I ask him - How did you do it with kids? He says “It sounds like you’re afraid to get started.”

So many details were lost in the 20 minute span between waking and writing this down. The cinematography of the dream…depressed, average, common. The setting of his apartment…drab, virtually colorless, somewhat old fashioned. Well, 60s old fashioned. The transitions, the questions, the details! Some of the details were lost even as I typed, even as I used my brain to find the unique word combinations that would make this retelling feel significant.

One could take away much significance from this dream. We met Stephen King! An unusually down to earth Stephen King, who told me I was afraid to get started! Well, maybe he has something there. He would know about writing as a job, with children being around and needing raised. But the field is so different now. There are so many hacks out there getting published.

That’s funny. I kinda answered my own question just then. If there are so many hacks getting published, why not ME!?

If something can go wrong...

2008-11-13T11:47:00.004-05:00

So, last night we're sitting around doing paperwork...
Jen has a TV tray sitting next to the couch, with her water on it and the remains of dinner. I have a TV tray sitting next to the chair, with my laptop computer on it.
The space between the couch and the chair leads down the hallway, towards the office, kids' bedrooms and bathroom. A high traffic area. This space is now condensed by the accommodating tables.
In my very FINITE wisdom, I move her tray IN FRONT of the couch, next to the coffee table on which is spread the aforementioned paperwork, long neglected by me and finally addressed by the busy matriarch. My reasoning...kids walking through the hallway may bump the table and spill the contents, which at that time also included a glass of wine. Red wine.
An hour passes....nearly two. I may have subconsciously congratulated myself on avoiding a disaster of minor proportions.
Jen calls Jackie to her, asks her about a school paper. Jackie leans in, from the edge of the couch...and leans right into the TV tray.

In slow motion, as Jen later recalls, the table tilts, the liquid containers still upright. It tilts into the edge of the coffee table and stops. The containers, of course, do not stop. The water splashes the papers, the table, the floor. Miraculously drained like a Communion Cup at the end of a Catholic up-and-down, the wine glass explodes against the surface of the table, spreading large chunks and tiny splinters of glass in a 2 foot radius smash zone. Jackie’s stream of apologies comes out as fast as my own torrent of expletives. Rags are retrieved, the table righted, the perpetrator sent away. Shards are gathered, papers wiped and dried, carpet vacuumed.

In hindsight, it could have been much worse. There was very little water left, and the wine had been finished off. Mayo’s Law, however, does not take into account hindsight. Nor, apparently, foresight. Trust me.

A comic book by any other name would smell so sweet.

2008-10-30T10:06:00.001-04:00

I just finished a graphic novel, Pride of Baghdad, by Brian K Vaughan and Niko Henrichon. It is a story about a group of lions that escape from the Baghdad Zoo during the American bombing in 2003. It is a quick read, only some 130 pages, with very few words. I was absorbed in the beauty of the Iraqi backgrounds, the intrigue between the two lionesses, and the anticipation of the anti-war cry veiled in the turban of art. I was enjoying it so much, the ending I never thought about sprung up and surprised me, like a hunting lioness. I’ll not spoil it here, but it ends the only way it could end.
This book reminds me, once again, of the guiltless power of graphic novels. In the same way that the best music combines the primitive appeal of rhythm and the modern allure of poetry into something more than these parts, the best graphic novels combine the Word and the Image, presenting to the reader a whole which is far more significant than the parts.
This is one of those cases. Check it out at your local public library. Sometimes they are shelved in the Young adult or Teen sections.

Not-Baseball

2008-10-10T09:29:00.005-04:00

Let's just call it that.
In order to make any point about hockey, you have to put it in terms that relate to other sports, so that most people can understand it.

Take this article, for example;
Uni Watch.
A few entertaining bits about NHL uniforms, but he can't finish the article without mentioning BASEBALL. Part and parcel of ESPN's continued shunning of the greatest game endorsed by VP candidates that's not baseball. I hear they plan to change their name to ESBN - something-something BASEBALL NETWORK!

The USA Today did not even have an NHL preview this year.

Toronto looked impressive against Detroit last night - fast and young. They split 2 competitive preseason games as well. Eric T. picked the Leafs to win their division. An admittedly unscientific prediction, but with the new coaching staff and the weak competition, not out of the question.

It looks like there will not be an inline hockey league at the rink I have reffed for the last 2 years. Kids (young adults) don't know what they have till it's gone. In the spring I plan to get involved with the Toledo Street Hockey League. After I'm done with school in a year or so, I hope to get more involved with ice hockey, as a referee. It pays twice as much as inline, but it's more intensive.

My son plays floor hockey at the YMCA. Unfortunately, the ADHD keeps him from focusing for any extended time, and thus he's just not very good. But he loves doing it, and I enjoy spending that time with him and the other kids. I think as he matures, he'll enjoy it more and want to get better.

The Bad Fish Paradigm

2008-10-04T00:03:00.000-04:00

On a recent episode of the Big Bang Theory, Sheldon wore a neon green shirt with a robot that struck me as familiar.
This show is hilarious, and nicely balanced for the advanced ego. It rewards those who can comprehend the vocabulary of advanced physics, yet mocks their intrinsic, if not exaggerated, nerdiness with star trek and comic books references.
Fortunately, it was a Sheldon-centric episode, so I had time to recall the memory. I realized the image was from a video game from the 1980s, but I couldn't quite remember the name.
Of course, I googled it, and came up with this:
BERSERK
The image on his shirt, though, was nothing at all like the video game graphics. The image in my mind came from the box, or the advertising. I distinctly remember drawing that robot, and my Aunt drawing it so much neater. Actually, I think it was supposed to be a space marine, rather than a robot.
I googled the packaging, too, but found only this:

Take a few minutes to browse through the rest of this entertaining list. Go on...let Nostalgia sit on your lap and talk about the first thing that comes up.

I'm not really sure what that means. Just go with it...

2008-10-03T09:59:00.001-04:00

Nope.

The Writing Writer

2008-10-01T08:43:00.000-04:00

On Monday this week, I went the entire day without thinking or doing anything creative, anything towards my stated goals. I believe that was the first time since I started this endeavor that I was completely devoid for an entire day. Not counting weekends, of course. Well, on weekends I am at least thinking about it.
Here it is Wednesday. Guess what?
I am determined to keep this thing going, and I realize the only way to do that is to DO that. So, I will make myself get back on schedule. Each morning will again start with 1 hour of writing, regardless. But I think it's more important than ever to get on to the actual writing. I will leave the D&D stuff for 'free time', leisure activity.
It's imperative to separate the writing time from the leisure time, to think of it as a real and essential part of my life that deserves it's own slot.

2008-09-23T09:29:00.000-04:00

I’ve had so many things occupying my mind lately. Although I’ve written down little snippets of ideas for blog posts, I find myself unable to explore them at any length. So, I thought I’d try something different this time – just open up Word and write.

Life has been busy. As I’ve said before, we hit the ground running! My To Do list has grown from a list to a file folder, the way an embryo grows from a couple cells. Yesterday was productive - I got a few things done, filed, called. Selling our trailer and buying a house is still the top priority, but there are so many aspects of that to follow up on. Requiring a down payment leads to raising cash leads to reducing debt leads to spending less leads to selling more stuff on ebay leads to organizing the office leads to packing stuff for the yard sale leads to weeding out my book collection leads to putting in the new windows leads to cleaning out the corner by the front door leads to putting stuff out in the shed leads to thinking about organizing the shed leads to finish painting the front porch leads to drywall repairs leads to wallpaper or painting leads to replacing the carpet leads to the desire to have a yard for the dog leads to buying a new house leads to selling the trailer. See? It’s all connected.

I have not worked on the D&D stuff much at all. I have certainly not been able to do 1 hour of writing each day. Flush with yesterday’s accomplishments, though, I am eager to restart again. Again. I sometimes borrow The Writer magazine from the library, and that always inspires me with practical tips and market information.

The new TV season started up. I love my DVR. We enjoyed Heroes last night, though it may be too much too fast – an over-reaction to the complaint about last season’s slow pace. Robot Chicken has been funny, of course. I still hate reality shows, any and all of them, though I do get a HUGE kick out of The Soup. I’ve watched this show off and on through 3 hosts, from when it was called Talk Soup. With DVR, I don’t miss an episode. Joel McHale is hilarious in making fun of the poor saps on talk- and reality shows. Right up my alley, as they say.

Jen and I have been listening to The Stand, by Stephen King. She raves about it, and has actually read it. Twice. I must be missing something. I think it’s dull and not at all convincing. The remaining Americans are split into 2 camps – God followers and God fearers. The focus is mainly on the God followers, and their pervasive altruism rings false in the face of the massive potential of materialism. Think about it; 99% of the population, dead. All their stuff, not dead. All the stuff in the warehouses. All the gold, guns, and goodies! Sure, they have to grow food and organize a government, but they’ll never have a shortage of tools and supplies to do so! I’m only halfway through, though, so I’ll reserve judgment. I’ve watched the TV movie, which was entertaining if not self-effacing. There’s also a comic book adaptation on the way, which promises to be 15-20 issues (at $4.00 each…) of still but striking images. I used to be averse to his weighty exposition, but have since come to realize the importance of the build up. Let’s hope it’s not too disappointing.

I got a 60% on a quiz about DOS prompt commands. Like riding a bike. A circus bike with an outrageously large front wheel. Of course I can do it, but the format of the quiz was weird. We had to write the commands in a text box, without using the DOS window. The instructor said beforehand that if we do poorly on the quiz, don’t fret it. What a waste of 2 weeks. Next, I get to learn how to install Windows XP, using the $120 textbook/workbook/120 day trial CD. Fortunately, this will be the last semester of learning stuff I already know. Then, only 6 classes to an Associates Degree in computer networking!

Into the garbage chute, Flyboy!

2008-09-12T15:25:00.000-04:00

It's been tough to set aside time, even 1 hour a day, when so much else is going on that demands my attention.

I have lots of little circled W's - writing ideas that I would like to touch on here in the blog - but so little time. But it's hard to justify spending time on the trivial stuff when dealing with real life issues. I'm just not entirely comfortable addressing real life issues, like my son's emotional and behavioral problems, here on the blog. Still, I know that it's meta-important to carry on, and I have at least worked on minor D&D stuff daily, even if only for a minute or two. I just finished The Dark Tower II: the Drawing of the Three (again). That helps me keep my ear open for tidbits of phrasing and has given me a renewed appreciate for the natural usage of the F-bomb. So, the writer in me is still closer to the surface than before I started this blog. He's AT the surface, actually, like a dianoga slinking through the styrofoam detritus floating in the trash compactor that is my life.

Too funny.....

2008-09-03T15:03:00.000-04:00

...for some of you to watch completely.

Maple Leafs.

amazing hockey fight

2008-09-03T14:56:00.000-04:00

Really. Amazing.

My name is Steven. I am a Star Wars Geek.

2008-09-02T10:16:00.000-04:00

I have been clean for 3 years, 3 months, and 8 days.

On Sunday, I took my son to see the Clone Wars movie.

I enjoyed it.

Despite being resolutely determined NOT to, I enjoyed it. Perhaps it was because I had such low expectations, after reading all the poor (and poorly written) reviews out there. Perhaps it was because my son, it’s intended audience, thought it was sewper kewl. Perhaps it was because we sat way up in the front, which provides a radically different perspective on whatever is on the screen. Regardless, I enjoyed it for what it was – a spectacular war movie spiced with some juvenile comedy, animated in a unique style that ………

Aw, who am I kidding. It was STAR WARS! It had multiple light saber battles!!

Here’s what I liked:
A lot of clone troopers died. That’s what they were for. The voice of Obi-wan was very much like Ewan McGregor. Next best thing and all that. And Obi-wan’s temperament and battle skill is most impressive here. Mace Windu, though not a lead character in this ‘episode’, was voiced by Sam Jackson. Realistic background, stylistic characters. This combination somehow made it seem less cartoony. The clone troopers all had the same face and voice, which was VERY similar to Tem Morrison, the original Jango Fett. They also had different hair styles and colors and scars and stuff to differentiate them. Jabba the Hutt spoke in Huttese and sounded just like he did in Return of the Jedi. Some of the phrases were even recognizable, to those of us who were, at one time, students of Huttese.

Here’s what I did NOT like. (to varying degrees, least hated first):
The WB intro, rather than the 20th Century Fox fanfare. Minor, but the fanfare traditionally introduces the quiet electric blue of “A long time ago…”. Then the Clone Wars logo pops up, fades back, the action kicks off, and the voice-over kicks in. VOICE-OVER. No crawl. If you’re going to market and present it as a Star Wars MOVIE, then do the title and crawl. The opening music is a cartoonish version of the original theme. I don’t have the music vocabulary to describe it but it just wasn’t the same. The soundtrack all the way through does not stand out. A lot of clone troopers died. One was even decapitated. No mourning was showed. I always thought mourning them would make their story more realistic, more authentic. Obi-wan and Anakin don’t even blink when they go down, and they just send the rest in for another wave. Ahsoka, Anakin’s padawan, is Miley freakin’ Cyrus with a light saber. The whole idea of her character is what bugs me - the blatant targeting of tween girls. The execution of her character is fine. She shows her smarts and quickly learns to follow directions in battle. She calls Anakin “Sky Guy”, but only twice that I noted, not ‘the whole move’ as some reviewers declared. He uses HER nickname, Snips, more often, and more irritatingly! Jabba the Hutt’s son was another thing that other reviewers found unbearable. He was hardly featured! He burped once! Last AND least, we have Zero the Hutt. Jabba is featured multiple times in the movie, always speaking his native Huttese, translated through a protocol droid. His character is presented with a respectful eye to what came before. His uncle Zero, however, is the worst part of the entire movie. Zero lives on Coruscant, which I guess makes him an urban Hutt. He has tattoos that make it look like he’s wearing a nylon do-rag with neon markings. He is a countertenor, with a faux gangsta vocabulary that sounds like a bunch of geeky white guys tried to invent a faux gangsta vocabulary!

My (lowered) expectations obviously changed the experience for me. I had read many reviews that painted it in such a bad light. I liked the animation, the action, the characterization. I didn’t like the marketing, the music, and the new characters. I am looking forward to the weekly episodes, actually. There was an extended preview on TV this weekend, and it showed some exciting bits.

George is listed as Executive Producer. The less he is involved, the better it will be.

Ya hit the ground runnin’…unCHAINED!

2008-09-02T09:03:00.000-04:00

Nothing stays the same. Especially when you have children.

September comes and we are off and running. School starts, for the kids and Jen - and ME! Cub Scouts starts (anyone like to buy some popcorn?). Nick’s gonna play hockey at the YMCA. Jackie’s gonna do some horse lessons. We’re still trying to sell the house, and look for a new one. On top of all of that, Jennifer has taken up a second job, at the Kroger Deli, to make some extra cash. I have a ton of paperwork to go through, in a repeated attempt (say thankee, sai) to organize my bag and to-do file. I really have to stay disciplined in order to get WORK done at work.

Since this blog is about my writing, though, I need to buttress all of that with the will to continue writing for that one hour every day. This morning I jumped right in, with this post and the next, so that’s encouraging. I will have less time at home for this, so I have to get it done here, in the morning.

And still I am [aware] of the desire to share some gaming time, with my newest friend and one of my oldest friends in particular (you both know who you are (I hope!)!). I only mention that here because it is a part of the writing adventure, not because it’s high on my list of priorities. Not that my friends are not important, but in the scheme of life, there are things that just need to be done, and only so much leisure time at the end of the day. You know what I mean......

The Long Hello

2008-08-29T12:55:00.000-04:00

Although I haven’t posted here recently, I have been busy writing. Maybe not one-hour-a-day busy, but I have done some work on meeting my set goals. Last week in particular, I had a lot of ideas flowing in the D&D department. I got a few things done on my to do list for that, which lead to other ideas there, too. My own little brainstorming session.

I’ve taken to writing down bits of notes, with a circled W adjacent, indicating a writing idea. Usually they are things I’d like to touch on here at the blog. Sometimes I use that designation for story or character ideas. I like the convention.

I am extremely ambivalent about tuna fish. ( “tooter fish” if you’re a fan of the Dark Tower. )

School is starting up this week. I am taking one online class, in which I am already behind, because the ebayer I pwned hasn’t shipped the book yet. (I got a $90 book for $35 !) I sold last semester’s two text books for about $100 total.
Help Desk Concepts is the online class. The other is PC Operating Systems. Yes, mostly XP, but we’ll touch on Vista and Linux, which I’m looking forward to.

I still dig Kristin Chenoweth.

Stephen King is still the only Steven I will accept with a ‘ph’. I have once again resumed my quest for the Dark Tower, as I will do many more times before I reach the clearing at the end of the path. Frank Muller reads the book on tape. Currently, I am approaching my favorite part of volume 2, the Drawing of the Three. The shootout between a naked Eddie Dean and Enrico Balazar – it’s written so well, so enthralling. King captures humanity so succinctly. He will be recognized in the decades to come as the most important writer of the latter 20th century.

For those of you who have read the Dark Tower, check out the comics recently published by marvel. They are a big hit, realizing the time before volume 1 (The Gunslinger) in spectacular color. The first volume retells the back story in volume 4 (Wizard and Glass), while the 2nd volume, the Long Road Home, details the untold events after the ka-tet’s return from Hambry. They can be had for cheap from Amazon, of course.

Now it is time to get back to the real work. I am (probably overly) excited about the secret D&D project I have been slowly working on. I almost hesitate to mention it here, but it won’t be done for another 6 months, at least. Dave’s ‘campaign’ has brought about a renewed interest in myself and, I think, the other players in our group. { See you all on the 6th! }

I'll be back for more after the Labor Day weekend (during which I hope to see some karaoke action!).

Ah... Endorphins!

2008-08-22T15:15:00.000-04:00

S’been a long lonely lonely lonely lonely lonely time!

2008-08-18T15:46:00.000-04:00

Well, I did manage to watch the DVR, take Nick to the Cub Scout event, have dinner with my parents and beat the Slayer song on Guitar Hero III this weekend. I was able to work on the kids’ computer, adding memory and a USB port expansion card, replacing the sound card, and moving the CPU. I measured the sink and just have to pick up the new faucet. I also made food for and attended the birthday party, drank a LOT of margarita, and sang a LOT of karaoke. (that was damn fun, too!) So, a semi-productive weekend, just not on the writing front.

Between the Guitar Hero and the Karaoke, I have had a taste of making music. Faux music, sure, but nevertheless, it makes me hungry for more. I could have stayed all night singing! I did a Sting song, Black Sabbath, Led Zeppelin, a couple more. Jennifer did a perfect rendition of Hotel California! It would be such a fun thing at our own family gatherings! This is the one they had. 2000 + songs, and quite a variety! Maybe we’ll take up a collection at the next one.

OK, back to work tomorrow. Maybe not a post here, but one solid hour of writing work, based on my first post’s goals.

OK?

You know, you’re not really much help here. You never encourage me to by myself. I do everything for you - EVERYTHING! All I get from you is silence. If it were the other way around……

For What it’s Worth

2008-08-15T15:35:00.000-04:00

It’s payday, and I’m depressed.

Bills are paid, groceries and gasoline budgeted, and that’s it! It makes me feel quite inadequate, and rather unmotivated.

Moreover, I just found out that the release of Harry Potter 6 has been pushed back to July of 2009. 7 more months! Well, at least the break between 6 and 7 will not be so gulfy. (The first half of 7 is due in 2010, the 2nd in 2011.)

I’m going to try to do some writing at home this weekend. In addition to fixing the computers, replacing the bathroom sink faucet, attending the birthday party, watching the DVR, taking Nick to a Cub Scout event, having dinner with my mom for her birthday, and beating the last song (Slayer!) on Easy on Guitar Hero III.

Chapter II: Lo! There They Sat!

2008-08-14T09:08:00.000-04:00

From a low, narrow bed, Sirakln stared deeply into the blackness beyond his room’s sole window, awaiting his dilatory slumber while silently contemplating his recent harsh berating of Leviathan. The air was still, a late Rain-time pall of humidity and heat that was hardly conducive to sleep. Am I really beyond compassion? he thought. Then he reminded himself, But Leviathan has been in Martish a long time, so he must know the city far better than I. Sirakln's thoughts of apology drifted to deep remorse, and it nibbled at the very substance of his soul. How could I be so judgmental of someone I just met? Gods! But he did kill that man, even if he was nothing more than Dealer-scum. He now jumped freely from thread to thread, as a man's thoughts are wont while awaiting sleep. No, it was self-preservation. Does that elf call himself a ranger? Yet, why is it I felt such compassion from him? Why did I see a good friend in his eyes? At that, a strong breeze swept across Sirakln's bed, wafting in the odor of rising bread and fresh dough from the bakery next door. Is that a sign, good Cassock? Yes, I do believe it is. I shall take this man as a friend and companion, despite his shortcomings. Even though your system has betrayed me in the past (or rather, the fallible men who administer it), I cannot deny the premonitions I have experienced. But now his thoughts began to drift away with the floating aroma, and as pale moonlight crept over him, so too, finally, did sleep.

Leviathan strode down the black alley-way, peering night vision searching carefully. He more or less ignored the dead weight draped over his broad left shoulder; instead, his thoughts were of the scar-faced ranger he had just...what, upset? No, alienated. Yes, he already hates me, Leviathan told himself. Or does he?
He could not continue this inner argument, however, for his heat vision detected a number of warm bodies at the right, near the secret rear entrance of his own apartment. With a certain hatred (not his own) fresh in him, a devious plot grew next to it. He walked on, seemingly oblivious to the group of would-be thugs. Due to their huddled closeness, he could not be sure of their exact number, but it could be no more than eight, and he was sure he could handle them. If they were not Fingers of the Hand, the thieves' guild of Martish. Again he subconsciously swore to never join them, never to let someone else control him. He was now near the shadows' position, but they did not leap at him as he had anticipated. He slowed his pace ever so slightly, but they did not attack. He plodded on, reconsidering his masterful plot.
He had planned to dispose of this body a few blocks down, but now he almost trotted to get around the corner of the next. He flopped the body down, behind some sort of trash bin, and turned back to peer around the edge of a ramshackle house. The heat signal remained huddled near his door, their intent as yet unknown. Leviathan waited also, surveying the rest of the alley. The overcast night meant that he had to rely solely on his night vision. But so must the others, he thought, so they cannot be human. Also, they were not members of the Hand of Martish, for their in-city club was uniquely human. Some renegade rogues? he asked himself. They still had not budged from their watch-point. He quickly checked around himself and the side alley where he had dropped the body. Empty. His neck craned up into blackness, but he could see nothing with any traceable amount of heat. The dogs! What have they got up their silent sleeves?
Leviathan grew nervous as he watched, though he could not trace it to one particular aspect of his quarry. More waiting. Then, with little supposition, a spark went up in one of the upper floor windows directly across from Leviathan's building. It jumped again, and momentarily a subdued candle was flickering on the windowsill. Leviathan stared hard into the room beyond it, but could make out nothing. His gaze came slowly back towards his original subject--and they were gone! Well, almost. He saw the last two forms slip into the door (if it could be called such) immediately beneath the candle. It wasn't necessarily their motion that spurred him into action, but rather their peculiar build. In the pale candle light, their heads seemed flattened, their jaws protuberant. And most notably, they were rather short.
His charge was intended to simply verify his nightmarish suspicion. He slid into the portal, glaring about sharply. A stairwell led up and around. How could they be so stupid? No doors? No guards? 'Ware, he warned himself, ascending; they always were crafty. He cautiously stepped around a blind corner, and lo! There they sat! Goblins, five of them, imbibing some obscenely dark liquid. Leviathan pulled his sword and slew the first before the beastie knew he was there. The others had time enough to draw their daggers. Nothing more. Each took his turn dulling the ranger's blade. Leviathan's tongue tasted the blood that had sprung to his face and chest. He hastily wiped the blade across the rump of a dead one and resheathed it. Out of financial necessity, he checked their pockets and pouches, but found only the random copper crow.
He was now possessed by anger and a long-dormant hatred. He despised these kob-kin, as they called themselves, and yet he was angry with himself for not taking one alive! Gods! He cursed himself, stomping around the rest of the small apartment. When he reached the second room, he kicked the candle out of the window and it fell extinguished. He clenched his fist and ground his teeth together, choking off a scream of vengeance. Silent revenge shall I have, he almost whispered to himself. And he stomped again through the goblin's former home, smashing and ranting for a long while. With no other outlet, his hatred burned him inside, giving him a headache at both temples. Finally weary, he tramped down the steps and into the alley. The moon had now burst through the furious clouds. He slunk across to his door, keyed the hidden lock, and shuttled inside. His flat was simple, yet comfortable, and he rummaged for a stray rag. Wiping his face and chest, he wondered again where the scar came from and what on Keanin it meant. The comfort of his simple adobe, though, invited him to the pallet on the far wall, and he slumped down onto it. He stripped his clothing away, and was sleeping before he could retrace his childhood halfway, ever searching for the source, the source...

Leviathan dreamed again that night, or rather nightmared. In this recurrent dream, he stood alone in a thick copse that strained the sunlight to random rays overhead. As he gazed around, however, a rustling came from across the way, and a woman burst into the clearing opposite him. She was beautiful, in a common way, but her features were indiscernible to Leviathan; his mother, as he remembered her now. She ran straight for him, stumbling over her long, tattered dress. Leviathan watched with indifference. From the same exit now burst a young boy, yelling for her to stop. His shouts were blanketed by those from behind Leviathan. As he turned, a half-dozen goblins jumped out of the undergrowth. Leviathan slid aside knowingly, for this dream was now familiar to him, and he recognized these creatures. The boy stopped on a bronze, frozen. The beasties advanced on the woman, swords drawn in anticipation. Her nondescript features flooded with anger and hatred, tinted with fear. The first goblin struck her a glancing blow and she neatly kicked him in the groin. As he slumped, however, the next blade penetrated her abdomen from the side, and so she slumped. They finished her.
Leviathan moved to the other side of the copse (for he knew he must) and melded with the boy. The boy screamed silently, for it was all his body would allow; it would not budge. The goblins approached him, spreading out to surround him. He saw each face again and again, and he hated them all the more for blotting out the face of his mother. They encroached on him, on his privacy, his peace; upon his dream. Leviathan sat bolt upright in his pallet, sweaty hand palming the scar on his heaving chest. It itched like mad, threatening to drive him thus. He scratched with his nails, swinging his legs over the edge of his primitive bed. Groping in the dark for a rag, he wiped himself dry. In his quest to relieve the burning itch, his dream was forgotten; indeed, that he had dreamed at all.
After what seemed hours of tossing and turning, he determined it was much too hot to sleep any further, so he donned his clothes, sword belt heavy on his tired waist, and made for the Pegasus Hoof. The moon was gone and Leviathan sensed dawn on the horizon.

Anyplace but here

2008-08-14T08:59:00.000-04:00

I have been rather uninspired the last couple days. Allergies are sapping my energy, the impending end of summer sapping my motivation. I’ve been having D&D story ideas floating around my brain box, one of which seemed huge and super-cool. The whole concept now depresses me somewhat, as I am supposed be doing SERIOUS writing. So, I feel wedged in between the two creative forces, unable to give either much attention, let alone my FULL attention.

I suppose it’s time to post another chapter of the untitled Keanin story, written so many years ago…

No Good Deed...

2008-08-12T09:29:00.000-04:00

Well, it’s been a bit more than 120 hours. I’ve not written anything since Wednesday of last week – 5 whole days! That’s the way it goes. Nick and I were at scout camp for 3 days, played D&D one day, celebrated my father’s 68^th birthday on Sunday, then had to do some database training when I went back to work yesterday. It’s high time to jump back into it.

Scout camp was great. Nick has come full circle. The first time we went, 3 years ago, we were at the camp site farthest from every activity. We had to walk at least 15 minutes to most things. That was a miserable 3 days, because Nick’s ADHD, his size, my inability to deal with his immaturity, etc. It got slightly better the next two times, at different sites. This year, we were at the same, farthest site as the first year! Nick handled it like a trooper – or should I say, like a boy scout. He’s really matured a lot in the last 3 years. It was an enjoyable trip.

On the 2^nd night at camp, we did a flag retirement ceremony, during which we cut a flag into strips and burned it on a solemn campfire. Before we began, I reminded everyone that it is supposed to be a quiet and respectful time. Nick and the other 14 boys in our camp site were quiet AND STILL for nearly 40 minutes! I was simply amazed that a group of 10 year old boys could be silent for so long!

On the 1.25 hour drive to and from camp, I listened to a certain CD multiple times. I can’t seem to get enough of the music, and it surprises me. It is the soundtrack to the original Broadway performance of Wicked. It started with my wife (doesn’t everything?!), who went to see it with her best friend Lois, a music person. She raved, and soon bought the soundtrack on CD. She showed me and the kids a couple tracks that were fun and charming. The voice of Galinda captivated me from the start – high-pitched, small but large, and just plain cute. I found myself hunting down any information related to this Kristen Chenoweth. I borrowed her CDs from the library, read her wiki entry, surveyed youtube bits, and even watched RV, a terrible movie that’s best part was her comic duet with Jeff Daniels. She played Annabeth Schott on the West Wing. She also makes Pushing Daisies, a peculiar show best known for the voiceover work of Jim Dale (famous voice of all 7 Harry Potter books-on-tape) worth watching. This woman is barely 5 feet tall, and has some amazing lungs. She can really sing, too!

The soundtrack of the musical is, as I said, enchanting. The rhymes are tricky, but they fit. The music is thrilling and sincere. The performances are astounding, especially the titular (no, not Kristen!) character Elphaba, played by Idina Menzel. Elphaba is the real name of the Wicked Witch of the West. Yes, Wicked is sort of a prequel to the Wizard of Oz. It is a fascinating adaptation of the popular novel by Gregory Maguire.

Some time over the weekend, I was struck by inspiration. An idea came to my mind, unbidden as the best ones often do, for a D&D storyline that has the potential to the blow the socks off of all the old players. I haven’t been more excited about developing a story idea in more than a decade! Perhaps by the time Eric moves back to northwest Ohio, I might have it ready.

My son has grown into a bit of a Star Wars nut. Although I have steered him away from the collecting aspect, he still has quite a few toys that he actually plays with. His friends play along, too. We recently watched the Robot Chicken Star Wars special. Hilarious stuff, but it got me thinking of a time long ago, in a place that seems far, far away – the East Toledo Boys Club, about 27 years ago! On an old reel-to-reel projector, we watched a 15 minute short called Hardware Wars, a fantastically crude spoof of Star Wars. We probably watched it 10 times that summer. The image of a waffle iron, suspended sideways in a flat star field, slowly opening as Fluke Starbucker flies his bottle opener into the final battle, is indelible. I sat everyone in front of the TV last night to watch the Special Edition (not approved by the original creator), and I must say it was still as funny as it was nearly 3 decades ago! Nick certainly got a kick out of it!

This brings me to a comment on the Clone Wars feature coming out in a couple weeks. While I am looking forward to sharing the big screen experience with Nick, it again brings the dollar signs to the fore front of my Star Wars awareness. The action figures, the books, all the back-to-school stuff (good timing!), the video games, etc. It is a little disturbing to think of all the adult geeks out there who will end up purchasing not one, buy TWO complete sets of all the action figures - one to put away and one to open and display.

What a sad, sad statement.